Focusing On The Things That Keep Us Watching

Posts tagged “The Phoenix and The Dragon

An ANNIVERSARY Sunday Drive Down Memory Lane

Happy JaSam Anniversary, JaSammers! ❤

Really great Love Stories, like our couple’s, are to be celebrated long after the “death” of the couple. That’s because LOVE that amazing and inspirational lives on and on.

So, of course, today on their wedding anniversary (even though the wedding *date* was September 23) we shall do just that: celebrate our all-time favorite Love Story by remembering their Wedding Day.

I don’t know about you, but I will be eternally grateful to the vidders who memorialized forever this incredible occasion we anticipated for almost eight years! Looking back at all of these fabulous memories warms my heart and filled my eyes with tears. I can never regret the investment of time and energy I put into Jason and Sam. They were worth the time, effort, and yes – even the heartache of losing them! I’d do it all over again – without a single hesitation!

Enjoy the Drive, dear friends! Just please don’t forget your tissues!

NOTE: I purposely left out honeymoon vids…we”ll celebrate that NEXT WEEK! 🙂

“History of Marriage Talk” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pyal6M0oxQ Credit: Karlene Bates

“Always There” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhaaVo-fjuM Credit: tenpointoh1

“Spend My Life With You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynXk6F661zk Credit: aproditebeauty

“It Was You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19JkmvR7SIY Credit: Destined4Delena4Ever

“Here & Now” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDQJD1NusNo Credit: gigga143

“Now We’re Man & Wife” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA2witcJqpM Credit: ashleycramni

 “Because You Loved Me” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV_oQZ1Gq44 Credit: Amanda Rano

“A Drop In The Ocean” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWxI639UzJQ Credit: tenpointoh1

“I Choose You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw5oCW3M99I Credit: aproditebeauty

“I Am You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RBimQXUzeI Credit: cocoagirlie4

“You Fill My Heart” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDaO3sFJiro Credit: Amanda Rano

“Hold You In My Arms” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0s09yeiXG_Q Credit: ashleycramni

“After All” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDMPVMtqwQk Credit: aproditebeauty

Didn’t I say they were worth it all? *sniff sniff*

My favorite wedding of all time!

Hope you enjoyed reliving their wedding memories as much as I did…

Until next week…

Angelique


The Trouble With Trust

Good morning, GHers!

I am typing as fast as I can, as we have had issues with our cable because of “an issue at the pole” (whatever the hell Comcast means by that), and therefore our internet, since Sunday…and this is actually the first time I have gotten this far. I am just hoping I get through the post before it goes again. (NOTE: Started at 8:45 pm. Attempted 4 more times to finish before finally getting it done at 9:10 a.m.! Thanks, Comcast!)

I actually watched Tuesday’s GH on YT tonight, and then had to go back and watch the Jason and Sam scenes from the day before, only because I needed a point of reference. Ugh. Watching made me glad I hadn’t watched live. 🙂

Anyway, it seems to me that the turmoil in Port Charles can all be traced back to The Trouble With Trust.

That of course begins with the writers. It seems that even those who haven’t lost their love for our beloved favorite couple HAVE lost any trust they had in the writers to do JaSam justice, and it’s easy to see why. Both scenes (both kisses) just felt so wrong. They were fundamentally wrong to who both Jason and Sam have become since reuniting after almost losing each other for good, but I don’t think that is the issue for anyone. I think all fans can agree that neither Jason nor Sam have been written very true to character here. The trick for those still hanging on by a thread will be in holding on – despite The Trouble With Trust.

One thing I will admit I did not anticipate was hearing Jason’s version of how he and Sam got to this place. Jason told Michael that Sam hasn’t trusted him for a while. Since Hawaii, in fact. And  The Trouble With Trust is that when it goes missing, it opens the door wide open to a host of other problems. While I am not sure that I agreed with Jason’s assessment, I guess I can see why he might see it that way. Perception, after all, is reality. WHen I look at the situation with Jason and Sam, I would agree with Jason on the point that perhaps Sam did lose her ability to trust him. I just don’t think it was after what Franco did in Hawaii, per se. I don’t think Sam chose not to go to the hospital, or to get counseling, because  of that either. I think Sam began to lose her ability to trust Jason when he seemed to shut down on her.

Now, I don’t want to be misunderstood here, because I am not placing all of the blame on Jason. This systematic breakdown of their mutual trust is on both of them. However, when Sam lied to Jason about Robin because she feared for his life, and because she had just made it through a series of horrific, haunting life events herself (the “rape”, finding out she was pregnant, the incredible stress and the wait of the first DNA tests, to worrying about Jason’s reaction to everything, to soaring to heights of euphoria when the tests said Jason was the father, to nearly losing Jason to his brain injury right after) Those were all things Sam endured before being faced with having to decide whether or not to tell Jason that Robin had “died” while trying to save him. Listen, I would be a bit control freak, too, if I thought my husband would die at hearing bad news! The Trouble With Trust, especially when it comes to Jason, is that it is a cardinal sin to take away his right to make choices, and in Sam deciding not to tell Jason in time for him to say “goodbye”, that is exactly what she did. And that, Jason took great pleasure in informing Sam, gave him the “right” to share the intimate details of their marital woes to Liz on the bridge – because Sam had lied. *sigh* 

Even though Sam put on a brave face about it, I am sure that it was a blow to her trust in her husband to hear that he wasn’t alone that night, after walking out on her at the church. Perhaps that little detail made it easier for Sam to not want to do or say anything that would send Jason right out the door again after she endured her next series of horrific, haunting events (finding out that Franco wasn’t out of their lives, finding out from Heather that Franco was Jason’s “twin”, to getting the “results” that Franco was “the father”Oh, how we all begged Sam from the other side of the television sets to tell Jason the truth at different steps, because we all knew that The Trouble With Trust is that each time you lose some in someone, it leaves room for disaster to make its way into your life.

Alas, Sam did not tell Jason the truth, until she “thought” she had all if the “facts”, and only after being able to confide in the stranger and cop, John McPain.  Sadly, by then, Jason had all the “facts” he thought he needed: Sam had lied about more than one thing, and after given more than one opportunity. *deeper sigh* This, once again, gave Jason the “right” to share even more intimate details of their marital woes, including Sam’s “rape” and “Franco being the father”, with Liz, you know – a woman he once shared a drunken, reactionary night of grief sex with. And we can all see how we can no longer discuss Jason and Sam without discussing The Trouble With Trust.

Sam then went through the most horrific and haunting event of her life in the birth and subsequent loss of her son when he “died” the night of the storm, because of events Jason set in motion as a reaction to his issues with John. She then had to bury another child, next to the first child she lost, and she has since had to walk around with that huge empty space in her heart, and in her arms. Though she told Jason that she still loved, and always would love him, it is not something that any mother would be able to just put aside easily to think that the person she loves was in any way responsible for son’s death. In fact, under any other circumstances, people would think Sam the worst kind of mother to be with that person. Now, I get that Jason once forgave Sam for what happened with Jake after she damn near lost her mind back in 2007, but I would like to say one thing to those very people having a problem understanding why Sam hasn’t yet forgiven Jason. First of all, none of Sam’s actions back then caused Jake’s death”. While we all know that neither did Jason’s actions cause the death of any baby, Sam does not know that. Furthermore, Jason needed more than a year before he could forgive Sam and tell her that it was behind them, and really, Sam had to risk her own life to save Jake’s in order to feel like they were even. It makes my eye twitch furiously to see people talking about Sam not forgiving Jason the way he forgave her! To be fair, she still has about a year before we can even compare, and in that case, Jason would have to be the one risking his life to place that baby boy back in her arms in order to be extended the same forgiveness he extended to Sam! Let’s not get it twisted!

Even so, it was absolutely wrong for Sam to kiss John, even taking into the account the effects of alcohol for someone who had not drunk in at least nine months. No matter the state of their marriage, no matter how heartbroken she felt about how happy they had once been, when she kissed John, she did so as Mrs. Jason Morgan, and that unequivocably wrong! It does not, however, make her a whore, or the worst kind of mother. Unless you have been through what Sam has, you have no right to say what grief looks like, or how you would react to said grief. Everyone grieves differently. Her kissing John is a far cry from actually committing the act that makes one a whore. I think that’s such an overreaction! Sam did the wrong thing in kissing John, and of course, there will be hell to pay, hence having to hear that the man she admittedly still loves, and cannot imagine her life without, even after everything that has happened, kissed another woman, especially that woman.

Jason was also wrong in the reaction that he had to seeing Sam and John kiss. One would think that Jason would learn from his past mistakes, but not this time. He cowered away again to go sulk and have a breakdown on the bridge, instead of confronting his wife and calling them both out of what they were doing. Instead, he ran into Liz, whose Whoremones still have the ability to sniff out a man in pain better than a scent hound at an airport! And what does Jason do once more? Share intimate details of his marriage woes with her! *forget sighing, now I am just cursing like a sailor* Of course Liz slinked her creepy little arms around Jason then. If there is one thing she knows it’s that when emotions are running high, her chances of scoring run just as high! What Jason did next in kissing her was just as wrong as what Sam did. No matter how hurt he was, or how provoked he felt, Jason kissed her while being Sam’s husband, and that also is unequivocally wrong!

The Trouble With Trust  is that it’s so fragile, and can be torn apart by the slightest pressure. And the trouble with the trust these tow once had in each other is that so much has happened between Jason and Sam over such a long period of time. I imagine that fighting for their marriage must feel like a daunting task – like climbing uphill while the wind is blowing downhill. Or trying to get up the river without a paddle. Or swimming against the current. Or trying to find something precious in the middle of the darkness. Much the way it feels to be a JaSam fan in the era of Ron Carlivati being the headwriter. However, when we look back at what Jason and Sam have been through, or even when we look back at what I have written so far, we see one thing over and over. I put quotes around the bold, italicized obstacles and issues Jason and Sam are facing, or have faced. I did that because they were “illusions” of obstacles and issues. For instant, Robin isn’t really dead, so Jason didn’t really miss out on saying goodbye. And we don’t yet know if Sam was ever really raped, but we do know that Franco isn’t really the father, and I am almost sure that he isn’t real Jason’s twin, either. Someone once asked me on here what my theory was on Heather being so vindictive towards Sam over her forgetting Heather’s letter to Steven Lars. I believe that Heather is vindictive towards Sam because of her other son, Franco, You see, I think Franco was sold at birth, just like his brother, Steven Lars was. That’s my theory, and I’m sticking to it. It’s the only thing that explains Heather’s fascination with Franco and defending him. But I digress. When we look at all of the things that have worked together to build the great divide between this husband and wife who once seemed inseparable and invincible, we find that they are all in quotes, bold, and italicized. In other words, they don’t really exist. You heard Liz – not even the kiss was real! 🙂

Which can only lead me, as a Jason and Sam fan to the bitter end, to believe that once all of those illusions fall away, and Jason and Sam are left to realize the head trips they have been on, that great divide will suddenly seem surmountable once again. As for us, we cannot wait that long to feel that way! The Trouble With Trust is that left broken, it leaves room for doubts and disillusions. In our case, it has left room for fans to turn against each other even! IT MUST STOP! We, unlike Jason and Sam, already know that what is keeping them apart are illusions and head trips! We need to watch and react as though we can see the end in sight for all of this contrived angst, because it doesn’t really exist! Let’s act like we believe that, kinda like Michael and Kristina did (I have never been proud of those two at the same time before yesterday!), instead of getting caught in the same traps that Jason and Sam are getting caught in, unknowingly. We are not unknowing.

We know the truths – ALL of them. Including the greatest truth of all: Jason and Sam are soul mates, and the greatest Love Story we have ever had the great pleasure of experiencing on Daytime! 

Let’s start acting like we know that and believe it!

Hanging on…

Angelique

Daily Inspiration: (And a reminder of how much angst they’ve overcome before) and that “It’s Not Over” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_pfDhhml2k Credit: yugottahitpeople

This Day In JaSam History:

July 9

2004: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCCjRoD_f8M

July 10 had nothing I wanted to remember…


A Sunday Drive Down Memory Lane…On A Quest For Some “Chinese”

Happy Sunday Morning, GHers!

Big day around here – it’s our Karina’s 20th Birthday, so we’re all about celebrating today!

This being said, I just couldn’t get into the doom and gloom mind-set surrounding GH or our couple for today. So guys, if you plan to join me, you will have to be in the mood for a celebration! You may ask, “What is there to celebrate?” Well, plenty! Jason and Sam may not have much right now in the way of happiness, but they have had plenty to celebrate. Why not go back and revisit some of THOSE times?

Hearing Robert Yi reminisce about that beautiful, warm September night when Jason and Sam became Mr. & Mrs. Morgan made me feel like some “Chinese” myself. So on this week’s Drive, we’ll be going on a quest for some…and some of the best!

Allow yourself to go back to that amazing week in The Morgans’ History, and try to recall all of the wonderful emotions we all enjoyed: Happiness, Love, Excitement, Hope.

Go ahead and smile.

Focus on the depth of their love, and for today, don’t feel sorry for how much has changed. To quote the famous adage: Don’t be sad that it ended; be happy that it happened. 

________________________________________________

“I Choose You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw5oCW3M99I Credit: aproditebeauty

“I’ll Stand By You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTnEM-b1JRE Credit: yugottahitpeople

“Husband & Wife” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRtYoBPRIMU Credit: mcdela02

“A Thousand Years” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eWeMNth3y0 Credit: ashleycramni

“This Ring” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFqvFexGxPY Credit: aproditebeauty

“A Kiss To Build A Dream On” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpUa2k3N4eg Credit: scooter5117

“Here & Now” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDQJD1NusNo Credit: gigga143

“Better Man” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxynZTqZnwE Credit: jmsg411 

“Now We’re Man & Wife” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA2witcJqpM Credit: ashleycramni

“When God Made You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6xJ9my9SqI Credit: aproditebeauty

Truly, Jason and Sam had everything one couple wish upon a Soap Supercouple! There were so many moments to celebrate! *sigh* I am hoping that our Drive and the “Chinese” we managed to find left you with the “sustenance” we will all need in the days and weeks ahead. Let’s be there for each other, and for the couple we loved long before the new writing team.

Let’s never forget that!

Angelique

Back by (very kind) request: This Day In JaSam History: July 8, 2012

2004: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPwlIoNwh3c Credit: kjewel13 (Just lok at the passion between them even back then!)

2005: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7DHuh2EWpw Credit: kjewel13


“You May Yet Hold Happiness Again”

Good morning, Faithful. 🙂

Sorry for not checking in for a couple of days…it was the last couple of days for us with visiting family, and between them, all the fireworks, food and fun, I just could not find the time to sit and post without feeling as though I was being rude or inconsiderate.

In my search for The Beauty of GH in what is onscreen, I have decided that the soap gods were whispering to all of us through Thursday’s episode in the form of what else, but a fortune. (Oh, how I miss the days of looking to fortunes for a glimpse of The Morgans’ future!) If I am wrong, please don’t burst my bubble. I am trying desperately to hold on.

Sam’s fortune read, “You May Yet Hold Happiness Again.”

Though I fought it, my heart welled with hope. Sure, there were those who theorized that she was talking about John, or even Baby JJ, but I choose to believe that the writers chose a chinese fortune cookie to send a very clear message. Sam wasn’t reading her horoscope in The Sun, and she wasn’t reading some cheesy card. She was reading a fortune from a cookie that came from the very restaurant where she held the happiness that came from exchanging vows with the love of her life. I refuse to believe that means nothing! 

I also think Robert wasn’t just a reminder for Sam of what all of the symbols of their wedding meant, but a reminder for us all. How long had it been since any of us dared to even think of The Phoenix and The Dragon? Probably since those figurines were left behind. Yet, Robert Yi was there to make us all think back to that magical night, where Sam and Jason learned that tighter, they bring double happiness. *sigh*

I found it quite telling that Sam didn’t burst Robert’s bubble as he waxed poetic about the night of Jason and Sam’s wedding, and the love they so obviously shared. To hear him tell it, I realized that we weren’t the only ones overjoyed to watch them become Mr. & Mrs. Morgan that night. I am hoping that true to the strong faith in the Chinese culture, whatever rituals Sam and Jason were a part of that night still serve to protect the love and the happiness that was theirs in that garden and for such a short time afterwards.

Wasn’t it said that from that moment forward…They were One World. Earth,Water, Air, and Fire…together…for ALL ETERNITY?

As a witness to the vows and promises spoken that night, I have to hold on that, which is precisely why I cannot, on principle, watch the train wreck written for their characters. 

Whatever happens, however they get over it, come out of it, fight through it, I will be there; cheering. But I cannot, and WILL NOT watch anything that goes against the legend of The Dragon and The Phoenix.

I hope you feel the same, and that when all is (forcibly) said (through terrible writing) and done (without making any kind of sense to GHers like you and me), the same will hold true for us, as it will for Sam: “You May Yet Hold Happiness Again.”

Today’s Dose of Inspiration: Mr. & Mrs. Jason Morgan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zoDPdV0Ulo Credit: SimplyGH

I (Have To) Believe…

Angelique


An EXTRA SPECIAL Sunday Drive Down Memory Lane Inspired By Heather

Good Sunday Morning, GHers!

Well, we hit a few bumps in the road this past week, and just about every JaSam fan needed a good talking to, me included. I am glad that together, we have come up with a strategy for how we will handle the summer ahead – by sending clear, no-nonsense messages to TPTB that we are not going to watch the continued destruction of GH’s Most Amazing Couple. 

However, we are NOT going to just slink away quietly! We are going to make some noise about the love and support that we are committed to giving our couple, and to showing Steve and Kelly as actors! DO NOT LET THEM MISTAKE OUR OUTRAGE FOR GIVING UP, because THAT is NOT going to happen! JaSam ’til the end!

I was keeping my fingers crossed this week that all of the love and support everyone was also showing to our beloved Heather (Aproditebeauty on YT/@JaSamGleeFan on Twitter) would also convince her to keep on vidding our cherished JaSam Love Story, which would in turn keep us all going. Luckily, she has decided to do just that. *bows head in prayer of thanks*

So, in honor of her FANTABULOUS contribution to the #JaSamMovement, this week’s vids are exclusively hers.

Thanks, Partner, for continuing to share your incredible and soul-stirring gift of Magic-Making with all of us. Where would we be without your vids? ESPECIALLY on Sunday mornings! 🙂

I LOVE YOU BUNCHES!

Here we go…Remember, CREDIT (and lots and lots of love) on each of this week’s vids goes to aproditebeauty!

Let’s go back to the beginning, shall we? Take a few moments to relive the making of the one couple that changed GH for us, and brought us all together! This was such a treat to relive! “I Believe In You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd0vmkxrmVs

Oh, Lord. If there was ONE THING I wish the writers would see (especially the new, clueless ones), it’s that for both Jason and Sam, “No One Else Comes Close” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEgY-VFFftU 

This vid should serve as real inspiration, as it shows so many of the things Jason and Sam have faced and overcome together! “Next To You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlPFR5s5Pvk

While Jason and Sam could both say this to each other right now, I’d bet we could all say this to them: We Are “Lost Without You” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prxyKXTi6P4

As you all know, I’ve been a Soapster all my life just about. I’ve had favorite couples and pairings I’ve loved over all those years, but Steve Burton and Kelly Monaco managed to make Jason and Sam a couple that took the term SuperCouple to a whole new level! I will love, fight for, and hold them close to my heart “For All Of My Life” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQxbtXSjaDo

It gives me hope just to know that we will all stand by and fight for Mr. & Mrs. Morgan to be reunited, as a family with their son, Baby JJ… “Faithfully” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpkGKmE16Wo

In order to be a JaSam Fan, you have to be willing to believe that Jason and Sam’s Love will help them find their way back to each other, “Against All Odds” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IaznSacwww

I think that in order to survive Ron Carlivati’s vision of what a soap romance looks like, we will have to decide to look at Jason and Sam with new eyes. “Eyes Of Grace” (and perhaps lots of forgiveness) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZBrIIjDTgg

The description to this vid shows us that our Heather knows our Mr. & Mrs. Morgan better than just about anyone out there – but especially the new writers! “The Vows Go Unbroken” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YU3ON38O6Ls 

Get out the tissues…there is no better song to serve as soundtrack for Jason and Sam’s current situation than the classic heartbreaker. I can never hear this song without belting it out at the top of my lungs (much to my kids’ chagrin) This song says it all about right now. (Every time I sang the part “Can it be that it was all so simple then, or has TIME rewritten every line?”, I substituted the word “Ron” for “Time”. 😥 ) “The Way We Were” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWW_zTGAQkU

I hope you all feel bolstered by this breathtaking drive! I know I do!

Please take the time to thank Heather for sharing her time and love for JaSam with all of us. I know that every time I watch one of her vids, I am so thankful that she is #TeamJaSam!

Phew…another crisis averted! 🙂

THANKS, HEATHER! WE COULDN’T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU! 

Have a wonderful rest of your weekend! Make it one to remember!

Hugs to you all,

Angelique


“What Good Did It Do?”

Happy Hump Day, GHers!

I am hoping and praying that we don’t experience our first blackout of the season, as there have been high heat and humidity warnings since early yesterday. I do not plan to use any electricity except for the pool filter – because that is where the kids and I will be all day (at least until GH time) 🙂 Whatever you guys are all doing today – stay cool!

What a day in Port Charles, huh?

*sigh*

Johnny Zacchara must be a glutton for punishment. Why in the world would he choose to listen to Starr singing…(you guys thought I was leaving it there, didn’t you?) about her dead child on a daily basis? It’s bad enough he knows he’s done something wrong, and that he has to live with it, and the existence of the person he hurt most. But why would he choose to surround himself with Starr’s pain by choice? “What Good Did It Do?” for Johnny to cover up the truth from Starr, and then face her with written all over every day? More than that, How will Starr feel when she finds out that it was Johnny all along, and thinks he was “profiting” from her loss and pain by allowing her to be the entertainment at The Haunted Star? It’s all so creepy! Add to that the pain in the butt it’s going to be to deal with jealous and suspicious Dante’s extra “cop” attention on him, and I just don’t get why Johnny didn’t decide to start up a flower shop in his grandfather’s honor – no pun intended. Johnny isn’t exactly the sharpest of PC’s business men.

Heather Webber exhausts me, but I am thinking that she exhausts Todd Manning a helluva lot more! How is it that the shrewd, calculating, equally evil Todd didn’t foresee this as a complication? I mean, how did he think that he could run into a strange woman dressed like Paddington Bear and carting around a dead body in a wheel barrel in the middle of a rain storm, take her advice and get her help in switching Tea’s dead baby for Sam’s live one, and go on his merry way, without any complications? Duh. This latest blackmail scheme that Heather has leveled against Todd is only that – the latest scheme. (And could you imagine Heather as STYLE editor after that yellow rain ensemble?) This is never going to end. There will always be something else she wants, and something else she will expect Todd to facilitate for her, and if he refuses, she will “dangle that baby switch” in front of his face yet again. How is it that Todd hasn’t stopped to ask himself, “What Good Did It Do?” to save Téa the heartache that stormy night, only to make it a thousand times worse when she finds out the truth? …And she will find out the truth sooner or later. As someone who watched OLTL, I know that Todd knows that. Why hasn’t he figured that out yet? How could it possibly be better for Téa to find out that she never held her own son, or that her son was buried without her? The truth really needs to hurry its ass up here! Ugh!

Heather may want to consider the obituaries after all, considering she seems to be putting together quite the list of soon-to-be-dead-bodies. If Heather had her own place instead of living with Steven Lars, I bet she would have a bulletin board that kept track of her dirty deeds – both done and those still to be done. I also bet that Heather would be adding the new commissioner’s picture to her project board after what she stumbled upon today. What a disappointment for Heather, especially since she had “money in her hands that she’d really like to blow” on her man! “What Good Did It Do?” to push Todd Manning so hard, only to have her hopes for her and Luke’s “new start” dashed? Anna has no idea the dangerous crosshairs she just stepped into. No matter what she and Luke decide to continue doing, it will come at a hefty price…and not just to her new career, now that Heather got an eyeful.

Maxie is completely clueless to what it cost the people around her to watch her serving prison time for a crime she did not commit. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she is even more clueless to how undeserving she is of Spinelli’s love and loyalty! I hate that she is still angry at Spin for telling the truth about Matt in order to secure her freedom! Really? “What Good Did It Do?” for Spin to work so tirelessly to give Maxie her life back when all she wants to do is make his a living hell? It makes me want to have Maxie spend some alone time with Tiny!

Just when I thought that Kristina could not find a nerve she has not already gotten on, Michael peels back another layer of this spoiled brat’s selfishness and stupidity! Michael accused Kristina of going along with this whole Mob Princess crap because she “likes” her producer, and Kristina acknowledged it to be the truth. WHAAAAAAATTT? I am not sure if Mr. Carlivati is aware of his unfortunate pattern of having every new character written to earn viewers’ anger and hatred right off the bat, but it cannot be good for business! This is a new level of self-centeredness, even for Kristina! “What Good Did It Do?” for Kristina to unleash this nightmare on her hurting, grieving family, all in the name of trying to score with that LOSER? Kristina needs a real dose of REALITY, and I would love to be the one to give it to her! *cracks knuckles*

Well, I must say that the scenes between Jason and Sam played out a lot differently than I imagined they would. And I will tell you all that THAT was a good thing. I was truly expecting what I could only describe as the worst, since last time Jason tried to comfort Sam, she reacted by screaming for him to leave her alone. Though she had every right to be angry and lash out, I sure am glad that they spared my achey-breaky JaSam-loving heart another blow. I wasn’t sure it could take the hit right now. Now that I have watched them about 672 times, I have to say that as much as I would love to send Mr. Carlivati a “McBain” kind of message and send him packing back to NY sometimes, I thought the scenes were written beautifully – and on many levels.

First of all, I thought Jason FINALLY said and did a lot of the right things at the right times this time. That was something he was failing miserably at over the past few months. Jason let Sam know that he wanted to be there for her, but that he just didn’t know if she wanted him to be there. I thought it was necessary that Jason began by apologizing to Sam, and sincerely expressing his regret that the baby is gone, because Sam has to hear it enough times to try and erase that she “heard” him say he wanted her baby gone.  How crucial it was that Jason gave Sam the opportunity to talk, to let out what she was bottling up inside, and that he listened. It was what she needed as we heard when she talked about the baby being buried next to her daughter, and how she didn’t feel the peace that the flowers seemed to bring to Molly. I loved that Sam asked Jason if he remembered it being winter, because I thought it was an acknowledgment on her part that Jason has gotten her through the worst of times before. I know it doesn’t seem like a lot, but considering everything that’s gone on, I think we have to take that as a positive sign, and we have to hold onto it.

I loved that Jason’s protector instinct kicked in and he asked her where her mother and sisters were, but I thought it spoke volumes that Jason would show up at the precise moment that Sam realized she didn’t really want to be alone. How very fortuitous, as it gave them some much-needed time to themselves. (Though 5 minutes of JaSam scenes were not nearly enough time for the rest of us!) There were moments that may have escaped our notice if not careful, such as the fact that we watched Jason do something he has rarely ever done. You see, Stone Cold deals in hard facts and absolutes. You hear him remind Sam that he usually doesn’t think about things that didn’t happen, or wonder how things could have been different, but now he can’t stop. Why? Because when it comes to the love of his life, he can do things he never could before. Like forgive. Like wonder. Like believe. Like fight for love. Like dally in What Ifs. I don’t care what anyone thinks is happening between Jason and Sam. When a man like Jason Morgan is struggling to stop replaying scenarios and regrets over and over, you know that he is consumed with love. It was such a heartbreakingly sad list to have to hear Jason recite, because all of those What Ifs were possible, if only he had taken the time to do with Sam what he was doing with her at the cemetery. This only inspired Sam to share her own tragic list of What Ifs, and her pain over what they’d lost because it was palpable. But…“What Good Did It Do?” for either of them to talk about how different things could have/would have/should have been if…If…IF!!! It seemed to make it even harder for them to come to grips with what actually did happen, but it also showed that Jason knows words have very little weight, but he so wanted for Sam to know that he truly meant them. *quickly wipes tears to hide JaSam weakness*

I am not sure that they were truly of any genuine comfort to Sam, but it did get them talking about everything leading up to the funeral, where Molly read the poem that ended with, “Don’t stand at my grave and cry. I am not there.  I did not die.” The way Jason covered Sam’s hand as she was reading it, and the way he immediately went to her, telling her that he wanted to help her through this, before he asked her if she would, was what Sam needed to hear, even if she couldn’t answer. His concern for Sam’s well-being was genuine; I don’t think anyone – even Sam would argue that, but that doesn’t make it any easier for her to trust again, while in so much pain. When he told her that staying at the hotel couldn’t be good for her, and Sam said if he was worried about John, he was gone, Jason didn’t even hesitate when he told her he was worried about her.

You could see the sadness and regret in Jason’s eyes when Sam informs him that she is staying with her family, because family is what he and Sam should have been. Should be. You could hear the need and the love in his voice when he tells Sam that no matter what has happened, he is still her husband. And when Jason said, “Just come home with me,” my Jason-hardened heart began to melt!  You could see him breathing as though he might stop at any second if she said, “No”, and it made my own heart flutter as I waited for her answer, even though I know what it would be.  That’s probably because knowing Jason the way most of us do, we know just how inexperienced he is at this, and how hard fighting like that was for Jason. And knowing Sam the way most of us do, we all know how equally hard it was for Sam to not crawl across that stone bench, climb into his lap, and whisper, “Take me home.” Not because she is ready to forgive and forget, or to go on as though how Jason behaved doesn’t matter. But because it was in that warm, safe circle of Jason’s arms that Sam was able to survive and eventually heal from the loss of her daughter. Don’t think even for a minute that she isn’t longing  and aching for the kind of comfort and strength she knows only her husband could give her! But… “What Good Did It Do?” Sam to know that? She also knows that so much has happened, that the heart-stopping pain she is feeling isn’t what can bridge this divide between them right now. Not having her son in her arms is something that she can not trade for having Jason instead. And who could blame her? There is no greater loss.

Jason wasn’t giving in that easily. He told Sam that he loved her and that he believed she loved him too. And Sam, *sobbing* bless her heart, told him that she promised to love him forever, and that she would, but…

To which Jason answered, rather fiercely, “Then come home! Come home!” Jason’s desperation was unmistakable, as was the fact that Sam was painfully torn. But her “but” was one that Jason hasn’t processed yet. For Sam, she cannot go back home as though nothing has happened. And though Jason thinks “It happened, but they can move on from it together.” And then he said, “Please”, the way only Jason Morgan could.

It still wasn’t enough to sway Sam, but it was enough to make her run, rather than having to continue to face him with all of those warring emotions running around in her head and heart. Again, who can blame her?

That’s gotta be one helluva war.

I think the crux of the problem leading to even more angst going forward will be the fact that Sam couldn’t tell Jason that she was willing to try. But you know what? Jason had to try, and he has to keep trying, because Sam is worth fighting for, and he knows it!

I haven’t asked this question in a couple of years, but I find myself having to ask it now. “What Good Did It Do?” to tear Jason and Sam apart with so much angst and pain and heartache? *shakes head*  The only answer that could possibly make sense to me would be that they had to be torn apart in order to be put  back together stronger. Wiser. Greater. And More In Love.

I hope you wrote that down, Mr. Carlivati!

*blows nose*

Hold on for dear LOVE, JaSammers! Don’t let anything shake, rattle or roll you over! (We’ve already held on through so much!)

Today’s Inspiration: “Hold On” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiQQQBGIAl4 Credit: yugottahitpeople

Love you all,

Angelique


A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE

Good morning GHers!
Sorry for posting so late. It was a long day yesterday, ending with my godchild (and namesake’s) graduation. By the time the festivities were over and done with-I needed a couple of pain pills and a bed. Luckily the pain pills never work long and I am already up and sleepless again.   

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I must say that almost everything in life depends upon one thing: A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE.

You can see this at work, at school, at the playground even. Depending on someone’s perspective, they will either be content with their circumstances, or they will be miserable.
You could also see this phenomenon throughout Port Charles yesterday.

Dr. Keenan immediately reacted to Kate’s fears about being late for her period rationally and professionally: he got her a pregnancy test. When she emerged from the bathroom with the peestick, and got kinda upset that it was positive, Dr. Keenan took a look and assured her it was negative. We all watched as he made her look at the stick again. He saw it read negative,
whereas a 17-year-old Connie, he realized,  saw it read positive. It was a MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE. This time, the perspective of two different personalities, but it is a good analogy for how different perspectives can make you see things completely differently.

(Mr. Carlivati should know that just because he is now writing  this recycled crap on GH, we are not seeing things differently. This is Jessica’s storyline ALL. OVER. AGAIN. )  

Starr Manning sees John as a friend, because she cannot see the guilt he is carrying around for having been the one ultimately  responsible for the death of Hope and Cole. Now John wants to be the one to help Starr put her life back together and start over. Each of them sees this differently, because  it’s a MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE. While it sounds like a noble thought, it kinda makes my skin crawl that John could be sitting there listening to Starr sing (at all), but especially about losing her loved ones, and that he wants to keep Starr around town, and now working for him on the Haunted Star, knowing what he did. 

Carly is just as blind to the cruel reality  as Johnny is, as she is actually telling Todd just how fine Starr will be under Johnny’s care. Carly really believes, and is tying to make Todd believe, that Johnny would never put Starr in a position where she can be hurt. Okay, if working for the person responsible for ripping her life apart won’t hurt Starr, I guess Carly could be right. In my opinion, it would hurt Starr incredibly. I guess it’s MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE.

Todd Manning got to hear from Carly a totally different side to Sam’s feelings about her new baby than he heard from Heather. It may finally be dawning on him that this is too important to let it go as MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE. And perhaps he’s realizing that he was a little more desperate to believe that he was doing the right thing that night than he originally did. Now it’s starting to become rather clear to him that he was partly responsible for tearing a baby boy away from a mother who loved him, and wants him more than anything. You would think that would stir a little more than a flash of remorse, huh? But no. Todd continues to make excuses for himself in his own twisted mind, and to hell with everyone else.

So, who were the ones defending Liz’s “kindness” towards Sam? You know, the ones who were trying to get others to believe that Liz was just trying to be nice? Well, now does everyone see the truth? I guess it can be MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE, but to me, Liz was just testing the waters – or shall I say checking her chances of tapping Sam’s man? *sigh* This, my friends, is why I will never, ever like Liz. She could be the one to go find Baby JJ all on her own, in a hailstorm of bullets and grenades, and come back bleeding, and missing a limb, and I would still spit in her eye before taking the baby out of her arms and returning him to Sam. Liz is a manipulator like no other. When she was sitting at the bar with Jason (with no explanation as to how they even got there), you could tell that she was carefully measuring her words, and she was completely focused and hanging on his every one. How did I know that Liz would bring up Jake? It’s her infernal connection to Jason, even though he’s gone, and so she will use it until her dying breath. And how did I know that she would find a way to bash Sam the minute she found an opening? Oh, Lord, but this HO is predictable on top of all her other character flaws! Liz sunk to a new low for me after whimpering to Sam that if she could bring her baby back, she would, and then bringing up Sam’s lowest moment in her life and using it against her to Jason. I thought it showed her cruel intentions when Jason said that Sam would always regret that, and Liz said now Jason would always regret this, as if to say they were even. Bitch. And how utterly transparent was she when she teased Jason about something Sam had told her, but when Jason asked her what, she said, “Later.” As in, “Later, when you are drunk, like the last time I took advantage of your grief?” Funny that Liz would tell Jason that Sam was angry at him, and told her that they were over, and that now Jason was “all hers”, but she didn’t tell Jason that Sam was in tears, and told Liz that she was in fact, scared and hurt. Or didn’t she tell him that Sam was still clinging to that dragon like a lifeline. I’ll tell you why. Liz is a horny, delusional, opportunistic and selfish BITCH. Life with Jason is her best bet at reworking the 0000’s in her bank account since she blew Jason’s money for Jake. Liz knows that last time she was putting out for Jason under the cloak of secrecy and darkness, like the booty call she was, she walked away with a house and several millions. As successful as Dr. Keenan’s career may be, he’s not gonna be throwing money at her any time soon. “Why put out for chump change?” is Liz’s business philosophy.

On the other side of town, John and Sam dealt with the truth of what happened that night, and talked about the real reason he was in PC, and even said good-bye for a while. (Not long enough for me!) Still, we saw Sam wondering why he always seemed familiar, and they decided it would be all figured ut someday. I know this is MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE, but in the scenes between Sam and McBain, I truly saw a connection that Sam needed in order to survive the tragedy her life became after finding out that Franco was Jason’s brother. While I concede that there are many reasons Carlivati could have pushed for McBain to be this connection for Sam, I still believe that if he wanted it to be romantic, it would have already happened. Certainly there has been motive and opportunity. I just don’t know, but the one thing I do know is that I didn’t get even the slightest sense that Sam was anything towards John, but a friend and grateful. Even when she hugged him good-bye.

Just like I didn’t get a sense from Jason that he was anything but in love with and grieving over his wife, but trying to be supportive of Liz’s choice to find happiness.

I will be honest in that I came out of a self-imposed Twitter retirement because my partner in all things JaSam, Heather, asked me to come out and help trend #JaSamWillReunite at 3 pm. Congratulations to all the JaSammers who, once again, trended our couple. 

I got a headache from all of the DOOM AND GLOOM that continued in my TL regarding the show yesterday. (I thought we said ENOUGH WITH THE DOOM AND GLOOM?) I am by nature, someone who is drawn to positivity, and rather turned off by negativity. I would rather not watch and tune out, than to waste my time tweeting for an hour that I am not going to watch. I know that yesterday’s happenings were  A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE for us all, but I’ve gotta say, I just didn’t see the end of the world for Jason and Sam, like so many did. *shrugs*

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When in the world did Jason and Sam become the ceramic DRAGON AND PHOENIX? If I remember correctly, the figurines came after their vows, and after Robert Yi pronounced them “one world”. There was such a meltdown over the fact that the figurines got left behind that you would think Steve and Kelly had left the show! Jason and Sam both think they are over for different reasons. Whether Jason said he was not going to give up or not, the figurine isn’t the remote control fo his heart! I really felt tat Jason and Sam each experienced a moment of weakness and feeling lost, and we know that would be true because they are supposed to be stronger together. Each of them choosing to leave their figurine behind at the same time was more a reminder to me about just how *right there* on the same wavelength they always are, than a bad omen. Sure those ceramics were symbolic of their wedding night, but my friends, for Jason and Sam their LOVE has always been the symbol of the connection they have, not the other way around.

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Just to tease a bit of another MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE, the Jiz fans had their ONLY symbol of their couple’s “love” run down and killed. What did they do? Not give up, or give in, or give us the satisfaction! They organized and wrote thousands of fake letters from every living person whose name and address they could use just to try and fight to bring their symbol back! Still, if you look at their tweets and crazy ass posts, they are still stuck on Jake Being Alive, because without him, they have a tough time competing as a bona fide love story with the other women in Jason’s life – Robin was his first love, Carly remains his best friend, he married Courtney, he forgave, fought for, and found his way back to Sam, because he said the love was still there, then he pleaded with her to marry him, eloped because they couldn’t wait, gave her 2 magnificent wedding nights, a few weeks of a blissful honeymoon, and a baby created in love. AND THERE ARE SOME FANS CALLING THIS THE END BECAUSE OF A COUPLE OF FREAKIN’ FIGURINES?!?!?

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GIVE ME A FREAKIN’ BREAK!

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I think everyone’s gotta put their big girl panties on, and understand that the writers have changed, yes. The storyline directions have changed, absolutely. Our characters have changed more than we are comfortable with, HELL YEAH!

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OUR HOPE, FAITH, AND LOVE MUST REMAIN FOR JASAM, BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS JASON AND SAM’S LOVE!

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It’s the reason for not losing any of the three!

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How is it that we keep losing sight of that?

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How is it that we made it through still loving and wanting JaSam to be reunited after the Summer of Sleaze, the character ASSasinations of both Jason and Sam, the Dark Years that followed, and celebrated little moments like Sam being caught by Jason in that lace teddy? Or Jason being there to catch Sam when she jumped off the fire escape in her underwear? Or their song being played on the way to Mexico, but before they had even thought of getting back together?

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Now we have what every other fanbase has ever wanted – Jason and Sam had three solid years of fidelity and love. They had a beautiful proposal. They had a memorable and unique wedding. They had not one, but two wedding nights. Jason bought and built her a Love Shack with his own two hands (at least partly).  They created a baby in love and passion, instead of under the influence or by faulty birth control. Their son, though kidnapped is ALIVE! And still some are ready to drink the KoolAid of Despair and give up?

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If you know someone like that – tell them to STOP THE MADNESS!

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If they can’t enjoy all we STILL have because of the fear of what we’ll lose according to SPOILERS, tell them to STOP READING THEM, for JaSam’s sake! I mean, if we ad believed those in the last year, Liz would have tried to sto the wedding,  been Sam’s “therapist” after the rape, been her live-in nurse while she and Jason rekindled their feelings, carried Sam and Jason’s baby, slept with him at least a dozen times since October, been married to Jason after the new year, and been pregnant with their little girl by Valentine’s Day. Come on!

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In the grand scheme of things, and as A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE, nothing has happened to declare our couple as OVER, other than the nonsense Sam and Jason are believing right now. Love will win her back to him, it always has, and it always will.

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Unless people are going to help the Jizzers by tweeting, FBing, calling and writing in to TPTB that you’re done, giving up, and no longer care about Jason and Sam being together. Then that’s a different story. But if you know someone like that, please tell them that Bella Mafia is not the place for them.

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Here, we, as the family that we’ve become, still try to search for and focus on The Beauty of JaSam, because we understand that their Love Story is crucial to The Beauty of GH.

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Most sincerely,

Angelique, Die-hard JaSam Fan Until THE (REAL) END


“It Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Guy”

Good morning, GHers!

Forgive me for being MIA on Wednesday. We had a friend in crisis, and that took me away from my computer, and from all of you. But know that I missed you all.

It was a long night followed by a long day, but when I returned, I found confirmation in the mail (though I’d been told over the phone a week or so ago) that I am now officially RETIRED, with full benefits (and about 25 years before I ever thought I would be). Now, I can explore the other passions God has given me, (maybe I’ll finally write a book!) without worrying about helping to provide for my family. I am overwhelmed at how blessed I feel right now!

I am telling all of you before I even post it on Facebook for a reason. Having my accident was devastating. The surgeries that followed were a nightmare. The constant battle to try to get to a place where I could go back to teaching, my life’s passion, was disappointing and depressing. Through it all, while friends and family were back at work, doing their thing, not even realizing that I was losing myself and any sense of purpose, YOU GUYS WERE THERE.

I would not have made it to this day of celebration without you. It’s not just something sweet I want to say to all of you. It’s not something that I think. It is absolutely something that I know, and am certain of. Hearing back from you guys in those first days of this blog made me feel “connected” to the outside world again. It gave me something to look forward to. A real feeling of purpose in two years. From that, the friendships that we formed, and the love that I have come to feel for so many of you is The. One. Thing. That. Saved. Me. You will never really understand just how deep and heartfelt that sentiment is, but that’s okay. I just had to say it, and I just had to celebrate with you guys.

Thanks for the years of well wishes, prayers, finger crossing, kind words, encouragement, understanding, and support. I love you all so much, and I thank God for you every single day. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

xoxox

Moving right along… 😉

That McBain is quite the sneaky cop, isn’t he? He’s got Sonny’s place bugged, and he’s getting more than he bargained for as Sonny pours his broken heart out to anyone who walks through the door. I was kinda hoping that Sonny would not dump that whole messy truth about finding Kate and Johnny in bed together (complete with sound effects) on Michael, bit who am I kidding. Sonny is nothing if not clueless about what’s appropriate to lay on your children. He’s been telling Michael way too much since he was about 5 years old! While Michael was lamenting the unfortunate end of his father’s birthday, John was reveling in the fact that Sonny was finally getting some of what he thinks Sonny deserves. In fact, it was John who said, “It Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Guy.” I try to feel badly for Sonny here, but honestly, he went after Johnny in every way that hurt for a really long time, even after John showed some real kindness and restraint – especially concerning Sonny’s kids. Karma, apparently, is a blonde.

Carly and Connie have been simmering for weeks! It was only a matter of time before they totally forgot that they are supposed to be grown women, and more importantly – women, period. They went at each other like two guys brawling in a back alley. That was one crazy fight, and I shudder to think what it meant for business at the Metro Court when both of its owners are rolling around on the lobby floor, ripping each other’s hair out. Honestly, I couldn’t even pick a side. They both deserved an ass whooping – so “It Couldn’t Happen To Nicer Guys.”

Liz and Liv should really have left the sleuthing to the professionals. *yawn* It took them way too long to jump to conclusions, make assumptions, and basically waste each other’s and our time, only to end up calling the police anyway. Neither one of these two is someone I would want trying to save my ass if I was Steve, that’s for damn sure. And considering Liz’s track record, the same goes for Ewan. If Liz doesn’t get herself fired for breaking confidentiality laws by going through Ewan’s patient files, she and Liv may just get themselves killed for getting themselves stuck between A Psycho and A Double Crazy. Actually, now that I think of it,“It Couldn’t Happen To Nicer Girls.”

Johnny is on a collision course with disaster! No matter what he does, it seems to lead to trouble! Even when trying to be there for Starr, the young woman who just lost her family, he can’t help but say all the wrong things, or do all of the wrong things – like putting away his gun where desperation could reach it. *shakes head* John is dealing with a whole load of problems – from his decimated relationship with Carly, to trying to stay a step ahead of a murderous Sonny, to an illegal operation dealing with human organs. Add to that the fact that Starr has now gone after Sonny with Johnny’s gun, and John may as well turn himself in. I can think of a few people who might think “It Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Guy.”

While some may have had a tough time with Jason and Sam having yet one more argument, I was actually okay with it. First and foremost, they were finally in the same space together. Second, and most importantly, they actually did more than just argue. Jason and Sam, though tough for us to watch, finally got some of the tough stuff said. Jason had to stop hiding behind his  jealousy and had to face the cold, hard truth out loud that (they think) Sam is carrying Franco’s baby. Sure, it’s hard for Jason to hear, but guess what, dammit? It’s even harder for Sam to say to herself every single day!  I was so proud of Sam for not apologizing anymore, not even for John McBain! She told Jason he couldn’t blame her for any of that, because he just kept showing up – and she had no control over any of it! *applause*

FINALLY! Sam has nothing to apologize for, and furthermore, she pointed out to Jason just how hypocritical he was being in that he was angry at Sam for talking to someone she barely knows, but he was talking to someone he has a history with. The look on Jason’s face when he heard it for himself was pretty damned satisfying. But, you know what was even more satisfying? Watching Sam point it out, and then hearing her move on to the fact that neither Liz nor John are the problem for her and Jason! *Shouting hallelujah!* I hope the haters lined up to have their butts handed to them, because for all of their talk about how insecure Sam is, I didn’t hear a shred of insecurity in her statement! Sam used Liz to make a point about how clueless Jason was about the double standards he was placing on Sam. That’s it. Sam was all about her and Jason and the issue they are facing – which is whether or not Jason can love the baby, and obviously he is struggling with the thought of it right now.

I give Jason (a smidgen) of credit for telling Sam that it’s not her fault, because even though she knows it, she needed to hear it from her husband. However, I really think Jason needs an (over)dose of reality. And his reality, as we already know, is that Jason “knows what his life is like without Sam, and he wants her in it.”  I think we saw that in the shock that caused him to let Sam’s hands drop when she said she was moving out. Those scenes reminded me so much of their painful conversation after their second kiss on December 9, 2004, where Sam was leaving because she felt she had no choice, and Jason just didn’t know how to ask her to stay. Back then, it was the unknown that made Jason feel he had no right to fight for Sam, and I felt that same uncertainty in him today. Jason would never want to purposely hurt Sam, and he sees that it hurts her when he can’t make her any promises about the baby, as hard as that is to believe. Just like back then, he thinks the least selfish thing to do is to not ask her to stay through the uncertainty, and while I HATE it, I have been a fan long enough to understand how he could slip back to being that kind of emotional chicken. There were other reminders of that first time Sam left as well. His not knowing what to do when she came down with her bag, his trying to come up with a different solution, it was all so familiar to me. When Sam walked over and picked up the dragon, and told him she still believed that they were stronger together, I felt a lump immediately form in my throat. When Jason asked, “Why leave?”, my lips trembled, because I know what it cost for him to ask that, when he thinks he is doing the right thing for Sam. But when Sam answered she was leaving because she needed him to believe that, the tears came. Believing is the key, and unless he can do that, she knows there’s no use in staying. (Just like in ’04 *tears*) I have to admit that the little things that went into this scene really did strike a tender chord with me: The fact that Sam took the dragon with her, and not the phoenix, was beautiful and meaningful. It shows that she still believes in Jason’s ability to be the protection she told Jason the baby needed. That says so much to us about her love and her faith in him, even when he has no faith in himself.

My JaSam-Loving heart heard all of the unspoken stuff loud and clear. Like when Sam walked past him to take her suitcase, and Jason put his hand on the handle, fighting the need to wrestle her for it. (Anyone remember Jason taking Sam’s hand off the elevator button?) Back in 2004, Jason let Sam go, even though it tore his heart out, and even though it made us want to throw him down the elevator shaft. Jason let her go today, too. The best parallel I see in all of this is that it didn’t take Jason long at all to realize the mistake he’d made. Not then; not today. Jason was left to suffer silently as he cried and held only the tiny phoenix in his hand, and reminisced about the sweet moments where they exchanged the perfect gifts. Those memories made Jason realize that Sam was, in fact, the one to “turn bad luck into good.” The pain in his eyes made me terribly sad as he stared at Sam’s (lovely) picture. But I had to admit that “It Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Guy.” This hurt is exactly what Jason needs right now to help him see what was right in front of him all along: Together, he and Sam, the phoenix and the dragon, bring double happiness. 

Hang in there, beloved!

BELIEVE!

Angelique

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