*hums*
“Throw my hand on a blade for you”…
What a day for the books, huh, GHers?
I’ll tell you this: GH watching is no longer for the fainthearted, or the undecided.
You’ve gotta make a decision to love our soap – come hell or high water, explosions or well-intentioned lies, RIGHT NOW. THIS is what soaps used to be about! I feel as though we have been yanked from the stand-still world of GH, where people stood around for days talking to everyone about nothing, and dropped into a a fast-paced drama, where if you take a bathroom break that lasts longer than the 2 minute, 2 second commercial break, you will miss an important piece of a crucial conversation that will leave you stumped later.
So much is happening in Port Charles right now, that I can barely believe how fast the hour flies by. This is what we all wanted! Now that we’ve got it, I get the sense that people just can’t handle it. 
It’s kinda like being at the amusement park, and people are crying out for the ride to slow down right after it’s taken off. The thing is that it’s Do or Die for GH right now. Go Big or Go Home. I don’t think there’s time for slowing down while everyone adjusts at this point. It’s buckle up, hunker down, and let’s go!
I am on this ride ’til the end, even though I have a feeling it’s about to get really bumpy.
I am going to be honest and tell you all that I had a few moments of trepidation when I finally caught up on the feedback from Wednesday’s epi. I thought about going to Youtube to spend my time revisiting happier, less stressful moments in GH History, instead of sitting down to post between a rock and a hard place. I know I am about to opine in some way that is going to piss someone off, as there are lots of different opinions on what went down out there. We are not always going to see eye to eye, and we haven’t always seen eye to eye in the past, but when emotions are simmering as they are right now, I dread stepping on any of the toes that make their way over to Bella Mafia regularly. I appreciate all of you, and want you to understand that I respect everyone’s right to their opinion. That being said, there wouldn’t be a Bella Mafia if I didn’t share my own opinion, so I’m going to take a deep breath and do just that.
I hope each of you will take from my opinion what you can agree with, and just leave what you can’t agree with right here. On Thursday, there will thankfully be another episode of GH to enjoy on our screens – and THAT is what’s most important.
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Was I the only one humming Bruno Mars’ “Grenade” after GH yesterday?
Perhaps it was Sonny who started the whole thing with his heartfelt declaration to Dante that he would lie down in front of a train for him. While that may have sounded cliché to our ears, it’s exactly the kind of thing Sonny would say. I know that there are some of the opinion that this whole Dante and Sonny bonding was a bit too much, too soon, but if someone being willing to take a bullet for you doesn’t warm you up to them, NOTHING will. Besides, we can’t forget that while Dante was Dominic, and working for Sonny, he really grew to like Sonny in spite of himself. Let’s not forget that Dante always missed having a father in his life, and from personal experience, I know that even when we deny it to the death, the lure of having that relationship we missed is terribly tempting. I can’t really blame Dante for wanting to put down the anger and the resentment in order to take up a possibility for a relationship with his dad. In fact, I am pulling for them to be able to work it out. I think Dante has a very positive effect on his father.
Kate has already taken a bullet for Sonny, but apparently, that’s where she draws the line. She is not willing, or perhaps not able, to watch Sonny take a bullet; not for anyone, not even his son. Once Olivia was able to get Kate to “come back out of herself” again, she got her off that parking garage floor and away from that crime scene and to Sonny’s side. Kate’s reaction to seeing Sonny was more than relief, I thought. It was like a bunch of bottled up emotions came rushing out at the sight of him, and I find that to be incredibly interesting for what it could mean! We have all seen the trauma that the violence surrounding Sonny’s life has caused Kate. I don’t think she ever really got over her own shooting. Seeing Sonny shot, and perhaps even wondering if she had anything to do with it, seemed to affect her in ways for which she wasn’t prepared. Kate is hanging by a thread, and has made it very clear to Sonny that if he retaliate against Anthony, putting himself in the line of fire again, she is done. (Though I’m thinking she may already be done, and just doesn’t realize it)
Spinelli has also already taken a bullet for Maxie, but it didn’t end there. He continues to give her all he has, but she won’t do the same. I think Maxie has used up all of her selfish credits with me for the freakin’ year! She has been unusually self-centered, even for Maxie. The way she’s played Spin, her absence from Sam’s life at such a crucial time, the awful way she minimized Robin’s work in the lab, and the way she treated her before setting off the gas leak that caused the explosion, have all rubbed me the wrong way. So much so that I can’t even balance it out with the way she has handed Liz’s butt right back to her at every turn. While I think Jen Lilley is doing an awesome job making this role her own, I guess I am having a tough time finding the sympathy I can usually drudge up for Maxie with Jen in the roll. It’s nothing personal against Jen; it’s just that she brings a different feel to the character, and I guess I just haven’t connected with it yet. That’s not to say it won’t happen, it just hasn’t happened yet. Either way, Maxie is going to have to come face to face with the people who’ve been hurt by her selfish choices sooner or later. I just don’t know how she can keep facing Spin without seeing just how much she’s hurting him.
I mentioned yesterday that I don’t normally cry over Scrubs’ scenes, but did during that tragic goodbye scene on Tuesday. There is a reason why. Someone mentioned that this storyline has made them look up Scrubs on Youtube. I get how that might happen, but for me, it’s a little different. I watch GH live every single day (except in the case of emergencies), therefore, I’ve watched Scrubs since their very first meeting, when Robin interrupted his romp with a nurse at the hospital where he worked before coming to GH, in order to get him to come to Port Charles to operate on Jason. I didn’t miss a thing, and watched their relationship evolve, and watched their love grow. It’s not that I didn’t like Scrubs, it’s just that I didn’t really consider myself a Scrubs fan. I guess you could say they never pulled me in, or that they didn’t affect me the way other couples have. There is a reason, and I thought I should share it. You see, while Robin and Patrick made for a great love story – two superstar doctors, experts in their respective fields, both control freaks – getting on each other’s nerves and under each other’s skin, until they realized that under all of that annoyance and bad blood, they were really in love. Classic and sweet, yes. It’s obvious that this was a formula for success, as Scrubs have many loyal fans. As for me, I was happy they worked it out. Happy Robin got pregnant and that Patrick was the father. Even happy that they had two weddings, and finally got married. However, I wouldn’t have shed a tear if any of those things hadn’t happened. Why? Theirs is not the kind of love story that appealed to me. That’s not a dig, or a putdown; it’s just a fact. I guess it stems from the fact that Patrick and Robin never convinced me that they were willing to put each other first. Throughout their relationship, it has almost always been a battle over whose needs came first. When we go back and look at the rough patches in their relationship, it is almost always because of selfishness, or a lack of being able to put the other first. I’m not saying that Patrick and Robin weren’t willing to catch a grenade for each other, because I do believe they were. It’s just that in the little things that matter to me as a viewer, thy didn’t convince me those things mattered to them. That didn’t make them bad people - it just made them Patrick and Robin. It’s who they were. Personally, I have a hard time investing in a relationship like that, even in real life, but that’s just me, and I guess the other viewers who didn’t count themselves among the many Scrubs fans. The thing is, that as I read the comments, the texts, fb messages, and took a peek at my Twitter timeline (before feeling the need for a Valium), I saw people blame Patrick for what happened to Robin. I saw people blame Jason for what happened to Robin. I saw people blame Sam for what happened to Robin. I even saw people blame Steve and Kelly for what happened to Robin! (The occasional delusionals are constantly looking for a new way to hate) What I did not see enough of was anyone placing blame where it belonged. On Robin herself. *takes cover* PLEASE. Hear me out. As I saw the tragedy surrounding The Doctors Scorpio play out onscreen, I was immediately struck by the sad and disappointing fact that Robin making the choice to ignore her husband’s pleas and warnings that going back into the lab was too dangerous, and making a run for the lab, in spite of those pleas, was a last act of selfishness. Now, I hate to speak ill of even the fictional dead – but Robin’s need to be the one to save Jason took precedence over her need to put her family first. Yes, Robin is a doctor, and saving lives is what she signed up for, but dammit – she is also a wife, mother, daughter, niece, and friend. How dare she not stop to think of how her actions would affect her loved ones?Robin had to drag her unconscious husband out of the lab after he passed out from the fumes! Robin knew that going back in there was almost certainly going to end in tragedy, and she knew taking off like that while Patrick lay helpless to stop her, would leave him with the burden of her death should she not make it back out. She did it anyway. When you love someone, you have to be willing to put your own needs aside, and be willing to do whatever your partner needs FIRST. And Patrick needed her to stay safe. Alive. There for him and Emma. Robin neglected his needs because she needed to get the protocol. Patrick wasn’t asking Robin to take a grenade, put her hand on a blade, or anything nearly as drastic. He was asking her to do quite the opposite. I’m sorry, but how can anyone not hold Robin herself responsible for that?
Sam took a lot of heat today. She also took a lot of heat yesterday. I have a feeling that she’s going to take more heat over the next couple of weeks than a bun in the oven would. I am not surprised, but it doesn’t mean that I completely understand. In fact, I remain completely in Sam’s corner, and I will tell you why. Sam happened upon the scene of the explosion in time to see Patrick fighting to get to his wife, and since his wife is also the one person holding her husband’s life in her hands, whatever happened to Robin would have a direct impact on Jason’s very life. Sam was there when Patrick got the news that Robin was gone, and saw the beginning of his emotional breakdown, but in my opinion, Sam had no business approaching Patrick. It was a private moment over a very personal loss. Sam and Patrick don’t have the kind of relationship that would give her the right to intrude upon his grief. I also don’t think that Patrick needed someone to hold his hand, or offer words of comfort just then. He needed to do exactly what he did – let it out. I thought Sam did the right thing in leaving. I also think she did the right thing in going back to Jason, as we saw that she got there just in time before Jason weft off on his own. I guess I am having trouble understanding why people are upset that Sam is all about Jason. He is her husband. The love of her life. The father of the baby she’s wanted more than anything. Why must that translate into being weak or needy? *shaking head in confusion* You know, anyone who knows me personally will tell you that I am a strong, independent woman. I have always been my own person, and I don’t think anyone would call me needy or clingy, even behind my back! ;) However, when my husband was recently in the hospital with what turned out to be gall stones, I was by his side, holding his hand, every second. I only left him to go hunt down a doctor, or to harass a nurse for pain meds, or to see to any other need he might have had. While we were waiting for answers from the doctors, as gall stone episodes often mimic a heart attack, I was terrified. The mere thought of losing my husband was enough to bring me to my knees! I will not make apologies when I tell you that as long as my husband was “in danger”, I had one priority, and one priority only: him. That didn’t make me weak or pathetic, it made me the kind of partner he has been to me. I totally understood why Sam needed to be near Jason in those moments after finding out that his one hope of survival has just died. I would have run through the hospital and into my his arms! Sam is being the kid of partner Jason has been to her! Jason, even before he and Sam acknowledged the love they share, has aways been right by Sam’s side whenever she was the one in the hospital. Why wasn’t anyone worrying that Jason was being weak or pathetic? I’ll tell you why! Because we were all too busy falling in love with Jason and Sam a little more each time they demonstrated that kind of love that we all want, and deserve! Sam probably took the most heat for lying to Jason about Robin’s death. This, to is mind-boggling to me! If you go back and rewatch the scene, Sam is clearly shaken when she reaches Jason, and is trying to find the words to tell him what happened to Robin. (She still took less time than Patrick did telling Anna! ) Sam told Jason there was an explosion. She told him that it was in the lab. She told him it was Robin’s lab. And then Jason got one of those headaches. that. could. kill. him.
I am going to guarantee you that anyone in Sam’s shoes, who knew that any kind of stress could KILL the person they love, and had information that would cause stress unlike any other, they would lie their ass off! I know I would! I guess what I am having the toughest time wrapping my brain around is that I know had Sam told Jason the truth, and he went tumbling to the floor and into a coma, Sam would have been raked over the freakin’ coals for telling him! She’s damned if she does, and damned if she doesn’t.
I think the most unfair attack regarding Sam was the accusation that she is selfish for lying to Jason. WHAAAAAAAAAAT??? No one understands more clearly than I just how important it is for Jason and Sam not to have secrets, much less a lie, between them. Anyone that thinks it didn’t kill Sam to lie to Jason, knowing the repercussions a decision like that could have on their relationship, is in serious denial. I think the fact she would rather lie, than risk his life, shows just how unselfish Sam is! For her, it was more important to keep Jason alive than to worry about how angry he would be with her later. Sam wasn’t trying to keep Jason from finding about Robin simply because she didn’t want him to know. Obviously he is going to find out at some point. It’s just that finding out now – before he gets the treatment that would keep his brain from exploding, would most certainly kill him. As far as I am concerned, Sam made the only choice she could, and even Monica agreed with me.
After talking to Monica, Sam , who is pregnant, hormonal, exhausted, scared to death, sleep and nutrition deprived, facing the possibility of bringing a child into the world on her own, and basically all over the place, was trying to absorb the mind-numbing realization that Jason’s only chance at survival just died with Robin in the explosion. Can you imagine what that feels like? Nor can I. Do I wish that Sam had been able to get the words out about how sorry she was for Patrick’s loss before she laid eyes on the test tube with his name on it? Of course! But I can certainly understand how any other thought completely flew out of her head when she realized that there may be hope after all. If we could ask Sam, I’d bet she’d say hate her all you want. I’d dare say that given the choice, Sam would live with that hatred in a heartbeat, as long as it meant Jason gets to live as well.
Yes, Sam would take a grenade for Jason, throw her hand on a blade, jump in front of a train…she’d do anything for the man she loves. As Jason would for her.
AND THAT IS WHY I LOVE SAM AND JASON MORE THAN ANY OTHER COUPLE I’VE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF WATCHING ON TV!
It’s also why I am willing to take the grenade that will surely come from my position on this impossible situation for Sam.
It’s okay. She’s worth it!
Much love,
Angelique
