And The Wait Begins…
Good morning, Heartbroken.
I will warn you all that I can barely see the screen as I type because my eyes are so puffy and swollen from crying. 😦
The scenes of the breakup took such a sharp turn towards sadness and heartache, that I was honestly caught off guard at how much they affected me. I was not just crying, or even weeping. I was sobbing (as my son, Matt, told everyone who came home after GH). At one point, I finally got myself under control, and then out of nowhere, I was in tears again. Finally, I just jumped in the shower so that I could finally cry my eyes out without making my kids worry.
I must be honest and say that I hated the fact that they even mentioned the word divorce, and that we are supposed to believe that both Jason and Sam seem to feel that they are “doing the right thing”, mostly because the Jason and Sam that we know and love, and became Mr. & Mrs. Morgan found out long ago exactly what life was like without the other. They would never think walking away from each other was the right idea. NEVER.
That being said, I must say that I hope you can all see through the tears and the pain and the stupidity, and focus on the fact that no matter what was said…this was not so much an ending as it was a beginning.
Yes, that’s right. I said beginning. I watched the end of those heart wrenching scenes and thought, “And The Wait Begins”…
Let me preface what I am about to write with this: I HATE THIS STORYLINE. I HATE THAT JASON AND SAM HAD TO BE TORN APART, KEPT APART, AND PUSHED APART SOME MORE ALL SO THAT THERE WOULD BE ROOM FOR JOHN MCBAIN. THAT HAS NOT CHANGED.
HOWEVER...you all know that this blog is, and has always been, about finding The Beauty Of GH, even when that job is comparable to finding a needle in a haystack, as it was today. But find it I did, as I am sure most of you positive-minded people did as well.
The Beauty Of GH for me amidst all of that heartache was…well…just that: All That Heartache. Never before have I seen a breakup be so conflicted and confusing that I myself was trying to follow along. (Of course, having all new writers who are as good as strangers trying to write the breakup of GH’s most enduring couple of recent years might have had something to do with that, but I am trying to focus on the positive)
I am choosing to believe that Jason and Sam are at a complete loss for how to handle this impossible situation. One minute they’re talking about trying and counseling and the next, they are convinced that divorce is the only option. How could it possibly make sense in what they were saying, when we all know it doesn’t make sense in what they are doing?
The only thing that made sense to me about those scenes and their dialogue is that in everything, each was thinking about the other first, even at the high cost to their own heart. That’s the kind of love that made Jason and Sam the Supercouple they are. That’s the kind of love that made them the first TV couple I invested in with my heart. Yet, sadly, that’s the kind of love that sometimes blinds you to the point of not seeing your mistake.
If Jason and Sam had dared to fight for what each one wanted, their conversation would have ended very differently. Instead,we heard a lot of “What do you need?”, “I couldn’t do that to you”, “I thought this is what you wanted”, and “I would rather let you go than to see you hurting”.
If either of them had dared to show just a little selfishness, we might have heard,“I know it’s gonna hurt, but I need us to get through this together.”
It was so devastatingly sad to hear Sam tell Jason that he was more than her husband; he was her best friend, and for Jason to say it was the same for him. Wasn’t that one of the magical ingredients to their perfect formula? *wipes tears* I know that some were upset that Jason said that maybe they can’t be friends; especially when he remained friends with all of his exes. I just wish those who were upset by that would realize that when you love that big and that deeply, you can’t pretend to be okay with anything less. I thought that comment spoke to the immensity of their love for each other, and to how incomparable their love and relationship is to any other.
Most important to my theory that this is the beginning of a wait, instead of what some desperately-seeking-delusions are calling “closure”, was that when Jason said that they couldn’t go back and they couldn’t move forward, Sam said, “Not while we are feeling like this.”
They are “feeling like this” because of pain and regret and guilt and even anger over what they both believe was the death of Sam’s baby. Since Sam’s baby boy is about as dead as the depth of their love for each other, I think we have to see that knowing the truth about the baby being alive will release all of those feelings that held them back from believing in their love again.
Most of all, this breakup was nearly impossible for them to accomplish. When they told each other good-bye, but then held on once more and went into each other’s arms before sharing that breathtaking kiss, I felt my heart contract. I could literally feel the love they have for each other, and the sheer agony of what it took to walk away. Jason and Sam left not a single doubt in my mind that they can and will overcome everything once the truth is known. Steve and Kelly convinced me that they have poured their very hearts and souls into this pairing and this story – and they did that for all of us. Even the writers managed to leave me feeling rather certain that once again, they were throwing us a life line in putting together that incredibly amazing montage showing just how good they are together. They could have chosen to show the bad times instead of the good, or the mistakes they made instead of just how right they got it so often. They didn’t. They showed what we already knew – their love has always outweighed anything else.
That perfectly sweet, perfectly JaSam collection of fabulous memories kept me from drowning in a sea of despair on one of the darkest days in JaSam History. It kept me from jumping off the deep end into hopelessness. It kept me from forgetting that JaSam are, not were, One Of A Kind, and they deserve to know we aren’t giving up.
And The Wait Begins…for the next JaSam Reunion, and for their next chapter in this Unforgettable Love Story.
Let’s wait it out together.
As my wise, dear friend Steph said to me after GH yesterday, “JaSam can only go up from here.”
And I believe her.
Your Daily Inspiration: JaSam Montage 8/13/12 http:www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfrB_Ffnkpc Credit: klaineslexitvfan23