“It Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Guy”

Good morning, GHers!

Forgive me for being MIA on Wednesday. We had a friend in crisis, and that took me away from my computer, and from all of you. But know that I missed you all.

It was a long night followed by a long day, but when I returned, I found confirmation in the mail (though I’d been told over the phone a week or so ago) that I am now officially RETIRED, with full benefits (and about 25 years before I ever thought I would be). Now, I can explore the other passions God has given me, (maybe I’ll finally write a book!) without worrying about helping to provide for my family. I am overwhelmed at how blessed I feel right now!

I am telling all of you before I even post it on Facebook for a reason. Having my accident was devastating. The surgeries that followed were a nightmare. The constant battle to try to get to a place where I could go back to teaching, my life’s passion, was disappointing and depressing. Through it all, while friends and family were back at work, doing their thing, not even realizing that I was losing myself and any sense of purpose, YOU GUYS WERE THERE.

I would not have made it to this day of celebration without you. It’s not just something sweet I want to say to all of you. It’s not something that I think. It is absolutely something that I know, and am certain of. Hearing back from you guys in those first days of this blog made me feel “connected” to the outside world again. It gave me something to look forward to. A real feeling of purpose in two years. From that, the friendships that we formed, and the love that I have come to feel for so many of you is The. One. Thing. That. Saved. Me. You will never really understand just how deep and heartfelt that sentiment is, but that’s okay. I just had to say it, and I just had to celebrate with you guys.

Thanks for the years of well wishes, prayers, finger crossing, kind words, encouragement, understanding, and support. I love you all so much, and I thank God for you every single day. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

xoxox

Moving right along… 😉

That McBain is quite the sneaky cop, isn’t he? He’s got Sonny’s place bugged, and he’s getting more than he bargained for as Sonny pours his broken heart out to anyone who walks through the door. I was kinda hoping that Sonny would not dump that whole messy truth about finding Kate and Johnny in bed together (complete with sound effects) on Michael, bit who am I kidding. Sonny is nothing if not clueless about what’s appropriate to lay on your children. He’s been telling Michael way too much since he was about 5 years old! While Michael was lamenting the unfortunate end of his father’s birthday, John was reveling in the fact that Sonny was finally getting some of what he thinks Sonny deserves. In fact, it was John who said, “It Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Guy.” I try to feel badly for Sonny here, but honestly, he went after Johnny in every way that hurt for a really long time, even after John showed some real kindness and restraint – especially concerning Sonny’s kids. Karma, apparently, is a blonde.

Carly and Connie have been simmering for weeks! It was only a matter of time before they totally forgot that they are supposed to be grown women, and more importantly – women, period. They went at each other like two guys brawling in a back alley. That was one crazy fight, and I shudder to think what it meant for business at the Metro Court when both of its owners are rolling around on the lobby floor, ripping each other’s hair out. Honestly, I couldn’t even pick a side. They both deserved an ass whooping – so “It Couldn’t Happen To Nicer Guys.”

Liz and Liv should really have left the sleuthing to the professionals. *yawn* It took them way too long to jump to conclusions, make assumptions, and basically waste each other’s and our time, only to end up calling the police anyway. Neither one of these two is someone I would want trying to save my ass if I was Steve, that’s for damn sure. And considering Liz’s track record, the same goes for Ewan. If Liz doesn’t get herself fired for breaking confidentiality laws by going through Ewan’s patient files, she and Liv may just get themselves killed for getting themselves stuck between A Psycho and A Double Crazy. Actually, now that I think of it,“It Couldn’t Happen To Nicer Girls.”

Johnny is on a collision course with disaster! No matter what he does, it seems to lead to trouble! Even when trying to be there for Starr, the young woman who just lost her family, he can’t help but say all the wrong things, or do all of the wrong things – like putting away his gun where desperation could reach it. *shakes head* John is dealing with a whole load of problems – from his decimated relationship with Carly, to trying to stay a step ahead of a murderous Sonny, to an illegal operation dealing with human organs. Add to that the fact that Starr has now gone after Sonny with Johnny’s gun, and John may as well turn himself in. I can think of a few people who might think “It Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Guy.”

While some may have had a tough time with Jason and Sam having yet one more argument, I was actually okay with it. First and foremost, they were finally in the same space together. Second, and most importantly, they actually did more than just argue. Jason and Sam, though tough for us to watch, finally got some of the tough stuff said. Jason had to stop hiding behind his  jealousy and had to face the cold, hard truth out loud that (they think) Sam is carrying Franco’s baby. Sure, it’s hard for Jason to hear, but guess what, dammit? It’s even harder for Sam to say to herself every single day!  I was so proud of Sam for not apologizing anymore, not even for John McBain! She told Jason he couldn’t blame her for any of that, because he just kept showing up – and she had no control over any of it! *applause*

FINALLY! Sam has nothing to apologize for, and furthermore, she pointed out to Jason just how hypocritical he was being in that he was angry at Sam for talking to someone she barely knows, but he was talking to someone he has a history with. The look on Jason’s face when he heard it for himself was pretty damned satisfying. But, you know what was even more satisfying? Watching Sam point it out, and then hearing her move on to the fact that neither Liz nor John are the problem for her and Jason! *Shouting hallelujah!* I hope the haters lined up to have their butts handed to them, because for all of their talk about how insecure Sam is, I didn’t hear a shred of insecurity in her statement! Sam used Liz to make a point about how clueless Jason was about the double standards he was placing on Sam. That’s it. Sam was all about her and Jason and the issue they are facing – which is whether or not Jason can love the baby, and obviously he is struggling with the thought of it right now.

I give Jason (a smidgen) of credit for telling Sam that it’s not her fault, because even though she knows it, she needed to hear it from her husband. However, I really think Jason needs an (over)dose of reality. And his reality, as we already know, is that Jason “knows what his life is like without Sam, and he wants her in it.”  I think we saw that in the shock that caused him to let Sam’s hands drop when she said she was moving out. Those scenes reminded me so much of their painful conversation after their second kiss on December 9, 2004, where Sam was leaving because she felt she had no choice, and Jason just didn’t know how to ask her to stay. Back then, it was the unknown that made Jason feel he had no right to fight for Sam, and I felt that same uncertainty in him today. Jason would never want to purposely hurt Sam, and he sees that it hurts her when he can’t make her any promises about the baby, as hard as that is to believe. Just like back then, he thinks the least selfish thing to do is to not ask her to stay through the uncertainty, and while I HATE it, I have been a fan long enough to understand how he could slip back to being that kind of emotional chicken. There were other reminders of that first time Sam left as well. His not knowing what to do when she came down with her bag, his trying to come up with a different solution, it was all so familiar to me. When Sam walked over and picked up the dragon, and told him she still believed that they were stronger together, I felt a lump immediately form in my throat. When Jason asked, “Why leave?”, my lips trembled, because I know what it cost for him to ask that, when he thinks he is doing the right thing for Sam. But when Sam answered she was leaving because she needed him to believe that, the tears came. Believing is the key, and unless he can do that, she knows there’s no use in staying. (Just like in ’04 *tears*) I have to admit that the little things that went into this scene really did strike a tender chord with me: The fact that Sam took the dragon with her, and not the phoenix, was beautiful and meaningful. It shows that she still believes in Jason’s ability to be the protection she told Jason the baby needed. That says so much to us about her love and her faith in him, even when he has no faith in himself.

My JaSam-Loving heart heard all of the unspoken stuff loud and clear. Like when Sam walked past him to take her suitcase, and Jason put his hand on the handle, fighting the need to wrestle her for it. (Anyone remember Jason taking Sam’s hand off the elevator button?) Back in 2004, Jason let Sam go, even though it tore his heart out, and even though it made us want to throw him down the elevator shaft. Jason let her go today, too. The best parallel I see in all of this is that it didn’t take Jason long at all to realize the mistake he’d made. Not then; not today. Jason was left to suffer silently as he cried and held only the tiny phoenix in his hand, and reminisced about the sweet moments where they exchanged the perfect gifts. Those memories made Jason realize that Sam was, in fact, the one to “turn bad luck into good.” The pain in his eyes made me terribly sad as he stared at Sam’s (lovely) picture. But I had to admit that “It Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer Guy.” This hurt is exactly what Jason needs right now to help him see what was right in front of him all along: Together, he and Sam, the phoenix and the dragon, bring double happiness. 

Hang in there, beloved!

BELIEVE!

Angelique

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