Focusing On The Things That Keep Us Watching

CAN YOU FORGIVE ME?

It’s finally Friday, GHers!

I have a confession to make, and it’s been weighing heavily on me all day. In fact, whenever I thought about posting, my heart rate increased.

Understand that I feel awful, and I feel as though I have let you guys down. Here goes –

I sat down with my family to watch General Hospital today (as I always do) with every intention of keeping a stiff upper lip, and every positive comment I read in the forefront of my mind as I pushed through the tough stuff we all knew we’d be getting. I am, after all, a pretty tough chick. Surely I could do this.

But I couldn’t.

I have to confess that I got through the first two JaSam segments, but I. Just. Could. NOT. Watch. Sam. Apologizing. Anymore!

Not For Anything Else!

I also couldn’t watch Sam, the mutha-effin’ VICTIM trying to help Jason, the mutha-effin non-victim, “deal with this”.

I think I actually heard something inside me break when Sam started crying and trying to explain why she was terrified and irrational and thinking with her heart, instead of her head.

I just couldn’t do it!

I’m so sorry! *sobs*

Then the guilt got to me, and I thought, “I’ll force myself to watch on YouTube” (since my area no longer has SoapNet), but the second time I could only get to the part where Jason is shouting at Sam for keeping another secret, and had to shut it off again!

Hey, Jason! F*&% the SECRET! Your wife was raped! RAPED! Yes, she suffered alone, but ASSHOLE, she is STILL SUFFERING! How about you help her, support her, HOLD HER!

OMG. *rocking back and forth* 

I may never know what happened on General Hospital on April 19, 2012, because I am not sure I will EVER be able to get through these scenes between two strangers! (Well, maybe when I’m done PMSing, as Karina pointed out that I may have been in the throes of a hormonal imbalance)

All I know is that I shudder to think how these scenes are being received by people who have been actual victims of violent crimes, and are watching any victim’s worst nightmare play out onscreen – that somehow it’s your fault, or it’s something you should feel guilty about, or that you are suddenly unlovable.

*grabs 64th tissue*

I am holding on to the theories that this disaster will serve some greater good, or bring about some epiphany for Jason that will set him on a new path, but it’s been so hard! Thank you all for being my voices of reason when I needed them most.

YOU are The Beauty of GH!

I’m going to go weep silently into my pillow now, as to not wake my very patient hubby. Perhaps if I just get it all out…

*sniffles*

Good night

 

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12 responses

  1. samjase

    Honey…I can forgive you! Can you forgive me? I sent the following message to THE IDIOTS IN CHARGE!
    “JASAM…THE REASON COUNTLESS FANS WATCH GH.”

    “THIS CURRENT JASAM STORYLINE…THE REASON COUNTLESS FANS STOP WATCHING GH”

    April 20, 2012 at 4:53 am

  2. Kathy Glagowski

    I was horrified after watching Sam appologize!!! She’s the one who was raped! He should of had his arms around her the minute he came in and saw her wiping away tears! Instead she had to ask him to hold her and then beg before her did! Who is this ass? Because it isn’t Jason

    April 20, 2012 at 5:58 am

  3. alwaysaromantic

    Hi Jasammers, I watched and it literally broke my jasam loving heart! Its just like before with a slightly different spin! We don’t even recgonize our beloved couple! Just like before Jason and Sam are doing and saying things that are so not them! This is hard almost impossible to endure………..again! I am hoping someone at GH is reading this Blog and can feel our pain but more than that I hope they care???!!!!

    April 20, 2012 at 6:05 am

  4. lt4bama

    Angelique I’ve been a nervous wreck the last few days when I think about watching throughout the day, just before I watch and during the show. I mean seriously? I’m worried instead of filled with excitement about watching my beloved Jasam? Especially now with Sam being pregnant? Something is definitely wrong that picture. I do understand that you couldn’t finish and trust me it only got worse.
    Too be honest I thought Sam should have told Jason. I understand her POV of why she didn’t and his POV why he wouldn’t be happy about it. But for him to not immediately try and console I didn’t get. I know that was a lot info to absorb in a short amount of time but she is always putting how he might feel ahead of her own and I thought that he would do the same. The Jason I love would have! Instead he was more concern with the lie. This reminded of the time in 06 when she lied and said there was an intruder at Alexis’, as she tried anything to get him to not throw their love away. Manny eventually went into her room at Kelly’s and she called him, he realized someone jimmied the window so he brought her back to his house. He asked her to tell me about what happened the first to times. She said something to the effect “you know I lied” His response was “forget the lie. I want to know about the circumstances around the lie” Jason didn’t care why, he understood why she did what she did. So why the hell is he more focused on the lie now instead of understanding her intentions WHY and really grasping WHAT her discovery means. This means in her eyes she was RAPED. (Maybe I’m in denial coz I’ve convinced myself it’s mind games by Franco and he really didn’t rape her) Before she never really knew with absolute certainty so mentally she could convince herself (just like she cried out when he told her in HI about what he saw) that maybe it never really happened. To me the worst part of yesterday was not that Jason was upset because in my mind I saw him angrier and yelling louder. It was the fact that he didn’t grab and hug her tell her “don’t worry we’ll get through this somehow. It doesn’t change how I feel about you. Etc.” Even beyond that, what made me feel like that time when I was little and my cousin punched me in the stomach and I lost my breathe that I couldn’t even cry out from the pain is when she had to ask but then beg him to hold her. Are your freaking kidding me? That was such blow to my Jasam loving heart.
    Yesterday the door was open for her to tell him the whole truth about how she got Franco sample and McBain in general. I wanted her to so bad, but get why she didn’t based on how he reacted to the news thus far. I know Sam is terrified. So am I! But this only means another fight is going to happen. The worst part is I don’t know WHEN. It is starting to become too exhausting to watch. I leave with one last thing. Something I keep telling myself and writing on the boards, if not for anything else it makes ME feel better: Sam was not raped, the test was switched and Jason is the dad. In the end they will be a happy family. That is my silver lining.
    Angelique, I love the blog. Always look forward to reading it. YOU MUST continue to watch so that I can get your wonderful and on target POV!!! Also thank you for allowing your blog to be another outlet. I thought I vented enough on YT but apparently not 

    April 20, 2012 at 7:35 am

  5. It just makes me so angry to watch Sam..the victim..having to apologize and having to ask Jason to hold her! Once again, Sam is made to feel unloved and uncared for and this time by a man that I never would have thought would have done so. I don’t know if RC is trying to make fans hate Jason but he needs to stop with this rediculous writing for Jason Morgan before he does so much damage there will be no coming back. And then you have John McBain talking to and treating Sam the way Jason should be. I don’t blame Sam for not telling Jason the entire truth about how she got that sample..that look in his eyes was enough to cut her off. He was cold and only cared about the fact that she lied and he had killed his “brother”. She even had to tell Jason that Franco deserved it because of the things he had done to them..to “us”.
    It breaks my heart to watch this..to see the coldness in Jason’s eyes..I Just want this mess of a story to be over and done with. Don’t know how much more I can take of this junk on my screen and from the ratings..I’m not the only one feeling that way.

    April 20, 2012 at 8:25 am

  6. Ugh! Everyone has spoken for me, and what is left to say? This s/l has been so traumatic, and unexpected. Say what you will about GW, he wrote our couple in LOVE, tenderness, all the things we want them to be..and expect them to be. This has been just horrible, and I am tired of trying to have faith too. Angelique,don’t apologize, ever. You are exhausted from real life, so no wonder the little respite we all looked forward to every day has disappointed to the point of wearing you down. We understand.
    I wrote them too. Many did, I’ll bet. Twitter was alive with hatred. I still believe, and hope, they are in for good times, but just wonder who will be left to see it? I am going to try, and hope many will. We know they are worth it, so that will be the incentive. Hang in there fans. Love you Angelique, be strong, and put yourself first, please.

    April 20, 2012 at 10:29 am

  7. Candae

    Lately, I’ve been very upset with the way Jasam are written but yesterday (which I’ve watched about four times now) was totally different for me. I saw it a different way. I saw that Jason was more upset that Sam couldn’t go to him, to face it together as a married couple, as a team. I saw that when she apologized it was just that she had to tell him, bad news and that she didn’t tell him the truth from the beginning, that she is sorry that he’s not the father. I saw that when she asked him to hold her, if you look at his face, he wanted to and then she said please, which he did. I hurt for Sam, my heart breaks for her but also, it breaks for Jason. The guy is in shock by not only hearing this douchebag that raped his wife was his brother but also got her pregnant. My feeling is this, that when she first got pregnant and would ask Jason if he could love the baby, he never gave her an answer. Well, we all know that he loves that baby already so now, he’s gotta tell her that he’ll love that baby like his own which I believe he’ll say it. I also believe that this story is like that of 06-07 when Jason was going behind Sam’s back “protecting her” and having an emotional affair with Liz. Now Jason, will know how it feels and he’s not going to like it. I think that John is Liz! The way things are happening, he shows up and comforts her, that’s so much Liz and Jason during that time. Having a “connection” I think Jason will finally fight for his wife and his child and that’s the way it should be. I believe that they will finally have a talk about the past and all of Sam’s insecurities will come to surface. Sam has always had to just deal with Carly, Liz, Robin well, now Sam has a friend that Jason will just have to deal with. I believe, I have to believe that Jasam, like always will overcome this, that they will be stronger that they’ll find out that Sam was never raped and therefore that child, was indeed conceived in love.
    I think it’s funny how the same people who complained about GW (which I thought did a fantastic job with Jasam) are wishing he was still HW and they were the ones who rejoiced at RC taking over.

    April 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm

    • Dawn

      I agree with your assessment completely. I think the tables in their relationship are turned and Sam finally has someone to confide in. Just because Jason is used to being the hero, and having all the women in his life looking up to him for support and protection does not mean that Sam will fall into lock step. What we love is that Sam has been an individual able to make her own way independently of Jason, and that is also what makes her different in Jason’s eyes. Now they are facing something terrible together, but until Jason sees his part in the blame for this whole situtation the healing will not begin.

      In this scenario Sam has been acting out of love to protect Jason, and Jason has been lashing out and crying victim. What Jason is failing to see is that he was HATEFUL to Sam after Robin’s death and left Sam alone to run into McBain. Again when Sam needed him Jason was busy with Sonny’s trial and didn’t have time for Sam.

      I think these things will come to light when they both calm down and start to survey the damage. I also believe that they are reasonable people that are completely in love and that they will find a way to accept what is the truth from the past and create a way to live with it in the future.

      Keep the faith!

      April 21, 2012 at 5:28 am

  8. Dawn

    O.k. everyone, listen up…under GW’s writing GH was not doing so well. Now RC might be controversial but he has boosted ratings and we have a 1 year reprieve of our favorite soap. Not everything is terribly wrong in Port Charles, just different. Let us all be positive and hope with our heart of hearts that these missteps that our beloved Morgans are making are due to the fact that they are drowning in a tempestuous sea of emotions. Like someone that is rolling and being tossed in the waves they are having trouble finding which way is up. Jason is not soley to blame, Sam decided to take all of this on by herself. Remember when she was at the hospital records room and introduced herself as Sam McCall, then a second time when she called Steve to ask about heather she identified herself the same way, as Sam McCall. This bothered me that day because I like to hear her call herself Samantha Morgan. I didn’t realize at the time this was foreshadowing for the events to come. Anyhow, lets not get too carried away with the blame because it always takes two to tango. Jason should be more caring, but do we always handle situations the way that is prudent? Or do we let our emotions get in the way? We have to admit the latter even thought we don’t like it. I think Jason may bounce back and find that he needs to show Sam how he cares for her; but she may begin to pull away from him, because lets just face the facts that she is also processing this terrible news she has recently learned.

    Chins up folks! I will not accept defeat!

    April 20, 2012 at 7:00 pm

  9. Carol

    What the hell is wrong with these writers? JaSam are saying things that I can’t believe are coming out of their mouths. Where is the love and concern that Jason has for Sam when he acts like she is responsible for being raped by his twin brother? Why the hell is Sam apologizing over and over again and acting like this all the pain is on Jason? Isn’t she the one that was raped and carrying that sick bastards child. Things just dont look good and I cant go another 5 yrs thru what we had to go thru before and everything points to that. I just dont know Jasammers whats going to fix this mess unless those writers do something fast to correct it.

    April 20, 2012 at 7:45 pm

  10. samjase

    Today’s episode…friday….was worse than yesterday IMO.
    Cannot take it! Seriously…this is rank! Jason is another person completely. I get he’s devastated, but the words coming out of his mouth are vile…and my Sam is just a mess.

    April 20, 2012 at 10:54 pm

  11. SamJasonsHeart

    I’m with you this has been so hard to watch. Jason just keeps pissing me off. Sam has nothing to apologize for. That’s all I have to say because you are in my head and wrote everything I am thinking.
    Hang in there my love we will weather this storm together just as we have all the others. Jason will pull through for Sam see I’m keeping the faith even though I want to shoot him and throw him into the harbor!

    Love you!

    April 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

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