Focusing On The Things That Keep Us Watching

In Need Of A Keeper…

Hello, my favorite GHers!

(I am sorry for not posting caps with today’s blog, but the blog was done before caps for Monday were posted. Not that I am complaining, as I sincerely appreciate the fact that they take the time to provide them whenever they can! Just wanted you to know, as I know some of you really enjoy seeing our favorite moments again.)

I guess everyone needs a keeper. You know, someone to keep them in line, in check, or even in good health and alive. Port Charlesians tend to get into trouble when they try to go through life without a keeper.

Take Sonny. Dear God was Patrick right when he said “Sonny’s got no keeper; and he needs one!” Truer words, and all that jazz. OH YES HE DOES. Problem is all those who usually line up to “keep him” are having crises of their own. What I am having a tough time with is that Robin admitted to Patrick that she knew Sonny wasn’t taking his medication. Robin knows Sonny’s history, and knows that he has bi-polar disorder, and that he gets completely out of control when he is off his medications. SHE IS A FREAKIN’ DOCTOR! Why wouldn’t Robin have immediately called Jason or Carly or Michael or Alexis or anyone else who could’ve intervened on Sonny’s behalf and gotten him the help he needed before this? Did she think it was a good idea to let him continue to wander through Port Charles completely off his rocker, probably knowing that it was only a matter of time before he ended up completely manic, and waving a gun around like some kind of lunatic? I just don’t get it. The only person who possibly showed some sense – and pay attention, because I don’t usually sing this guy’s praises – was Dante. He knows that Sonny is a danger to himself and anyone who gets in his way. He knows that Sonny needs a keeper – but preferably one with a lock and key. So he did the next best thing to calling Rose Lawn. He called the cops. Thank goodness! Someone needs to lock Sonny’s ass up!

Carly has always needed a keeper – more like a zoo keeper, but Jason has always seemed to do his best. Carly needs people to catch her when she falls, to stop her before one of her plans get her or someone she loves in trouble, and to count to ten before she does something that’s just plain stupid. So basically, she needs a keeper for everything except for eating and using the bathroom. I have always thought it was ridiculous. No one has ever really helped Carly by “keeping” her so much. In fact, over the years those who’ve always run to her rescue have only made her more of nightmare. I shudder to think of what the hell Carly would have been up to at GH if it weren’t for the fact that her daughter actually went missing. I would not have put it past her to chloroform Monica, Edward, and especially Sam, just so that she could be the one at Jason’s bedside willing him (or better said – harping at him) to live. Thankfully, Shawn seems to have stepped into the zoo keeper shoes Jason has always worn in Carly’s life. And he was serving as her keeper quite admirably, I might add. Even when Carly argued that she would just have to got to the hospital and check on Jason herself, Shawn advised her that the one only thing she needed to do right then was “to be Josslyn’s mother.” Thank goodness for Mr. Goodbar’s common sense!

Spinelli has been in need of a keeper for weeks now. Problem is – he doesn’t want to be kept. This Jackal PI is brazen and fearless when he should be cowering in a corner because of the people whose faces he keeps getting into. I have to say that the benevolent Georgie Jones would be proud of her big sister. Maxie has truly been trying to put Spinelli’s needs in front of her own. She is genuinely worried that Spin’s newest persona is more than just a temporary fluke, and was willing to endure her jealousy over Spin’s newfound crush on Lulu in order to try and lure the man formerly known as Mr. Wonderful out of his alter ego trap. It gives me hope for Maxie’s character to see her fighting so desperately to help her former love and lover, even now that she realizes there may be no benefit for her. I cannot think of a better keeper for Spinelli at the moment, as pure motives are what seem to be driving her. *wipes tears* Our spoiled little brat is finally growing up.

Jason Morgan has always been The Keeper Of All & Of All Things Ever Needed. Where I’m from, we call that person God, and we can’t see him, but we know he’s there. Yet in Port Charles, before people call on 911 for emergencies, 411 for information, or even Father Coates for confession, they call on Jason. It must be the deeply intense (and deeply blue) stare he gives one as he is weighing the severity of your problem, and the options he has in solving them. Whatever it is, not even the fear of his imminent demise is enough to stop the pilgrimage of Port Charles’ most needy to his bedside in the HOSPITAL. Thank God The Keeper Of All was lucky enough to have found himself a keeper of his own along the way.

For those of you who’ve been with me a while, you’ll know that Sam McCall is my favorite character for many reasons. Her compassion. Her hard-knock life. Her ability to forgive. Her capacity for love. Her willingness to put others before herself. Her ability to love unconditionally. The list goes on and on, and she adds to it all the time. However, one of the reasons I love Sam McCall most is because she and I share the same ferocity when it comes to defending those we love. Sam’s backbone seems to hide out more than we would like, but if you notice, it is usually when she should be standing up for herself. However, try and mess with someone she loves, and I swear that not only do we see her backbone – we see it arch, and we hear her roar. That gets me about her every single time! Sam is fierce when it matters most to her, but not necessarily when it’s about her. I find that to be an admirable quality, only because I know how it feels. Sometimes, because of what life has taught us, we tend to think that we can “take it”, or even that “it’s not worth the trouble” to fight for ourselves, but we take all of that unused indignation and store it up so that when someone even tries to mess with someone we love, we’ve got an arsenal at the ready! We saw that in Sam with Carly, and we saw it a bit with Monica. We saw it again with when half-pint Sam took on bodyguard Max…and my personal favorite was when we even saw Sam use it with Jason, when she fought him on hurting the one person she loves more than anyone – himself.

You see, Sam has had to make herself Jason’s keeper, because he is not always willing to keep himself. Jason has a problem with sensing danger to himself unless it involves gunfire or some other form of deadly violence. He can’t see when he is pushing himself too hard, or placing someone else’s problems above his own life. If it weren’t for Sam, Jason would have been out there walking himself right into a seizure, or a blackout or worse, for Sonny and Carly, a la Train Wreck of ’05 or Sonny’s Breakdown of ’06 or ’08…or any of the other times he has put himself at risk for those two. Sam, who is painfully cautious about fencing Jason in, saw that Jason was going to be the one to hurt himself, and so she found that backbone of hers in a flash and used it to stop Jason in his tracks. Faced with a choice between Carly needing him, or him losing Sam, Jason chose pretty damned wisely. Not only is Sam great at being his keeper, Jason knows Sam’s a keeper!

I loved that Jason lay right back down in that bed, and that he told Sam that if she needed him to stay there, he would stay. As a viewer, it’s important to me that Jason sees that Sam’s motives, even when it puts them at odds, are driven by her love for him; it only adds another layer of strength to their relationship. Sam was passionate about letting Jason know what unnerves her about him having to run to Carly whenever there’s an emergency, and in a brilliant stroke of her pen, Monday’s script writer, (and my personal favorite) Michele Val Jean, summed it up in one word. Jason told Sam that it was “HABIT.”  (Is Ms. Val Jean a genius, or what?) It’s not that Jason means to put Carly, or Sonny, or even their kids above Sam, or his life, or even their life together. It’s that for Jason, it’s what he knows. It’s a knee jerk reaction.

Check out how the dictionary defines knee jerk reaction: an immediate, unthinking, emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive; – in persons with strong feelings on a topic, it may be very predictable.

If that is not exactly what happens when Jason hears about Carly, Sonny, or their kids being in any danger, then I don’t know what is! At least Jason took the first step. He sees that it isn’t rational, or the right thing to do all the time, or even fair to Sam. Hey, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Let’s give him some time. (He is after all dealing with brain damage)

I was delighted that Sam showed Jason that her intention is to protect him and their life together; not to control or change him into someone he isn’t. (Can anyone say dream sequences?) In the end, she wanted Jason to know that making sure Carly is safe isn’t really the problem. It’s the habit that drives him to act first and think later, thereby risking their future together, that’s a problem for Sam. And when you are as in love as Jason is with Sam, how can you take issue with that?

All of that being said, I was kinda satisfied that Jason had to learn the hard way that Sam wasn’t just being overly protective, and that his “habit” of running whenever Carly calls may someday cost him everything. That phone call to Carly landed him right where he needs to be in order to finally get it.

And the fact that we got a glimpse of his bare legs was just a plus!

😉

I’ll be missing GH live today. ;(

Today is my BIG appointment with my neurologist where we discuss all of the findings from all of my most recent surgeries, scans, tests, etc. My biggest fear is that he won’t have a solution to the pain that has kept me from the job I love so much for the past five years.

I will tell you that in a moment that made me cry, my Vanessa heard me telling my husband that I cannot imagine my life without doing the work I love so much. She walked right over to me, gave me a hug, and said, “Well, now you have a new work to do that you love so much. Your Blog! You love doing that, Mom, and you can do it laying down in bed, or on the chair with the big pillow, or changing your position lots of times, or taking a break for a long time! That work is important, too.”

Truly, I was humbled that my youngest (she just turned 10) could see my passion for sharing my thoughts on our favorite soap with all of you. She has also seen how many friendships I have made because of this “new work”, and what those friendships have meant to me during a time I was hiding from my other friends, and during a time that I needed them most.

So, whatever my (gorgeous) doc says today, I am going to try to remember that I have important work to do, no matter what. It may not be the work I’ve always done, but sometimes life changes for reasons we can’t always see right away. I am starting to see that my life changed because God needed me to find all of you, so that I could find a new passion. I needed a new keeper for my new life, whether it’s temporary, or for good. You guys together are that keeper. I owe that newfound understanding to all of you. Every comment you guys leave for me has helped me to realize that this wasn’t just about “finding my words” anymore. I really do feel like what I do is important to all of you. I cannot begin to explain what that sense of purpose has meant for me, or the peace it gives me.

My only hope is that someday I will get to meet you all, and will finally get to give you all the hugs I’ve sent on these pages over the past couple of years.

I love you all…and I’m keeping you all close to my heart today!

Angelique

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Take a moment and let TPTB what General Hospital means to YOU! Your voice matters!

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GH Los Angeles: 323-671-4583

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(You can also use that address and General Hospital heading for any actor/actress, or for your favorite writer.)

And PLEASE, remember those hashtags (#) when tweeting! #JaSam

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14 responses

  1. Aloha Bella,

    This blog brought tears to my eyes.. not what you had to say about GH.. but what your amazing Vanessa had to say to you! What a wise little lady you have there.

    What you do here is so important to so many of us. Your words are beautiful, calming, loving and help keep us grounded when it comes to Sam and Jason.. well all of PC. I either start or end my day right here.

    I am so blessed to have found this blog without your words here I wouldn’t have you in my life.. the friendship we have built over the years is one I treasure with all my heart. Remember the tsunami.. you stayed up with me all night helped calm me during all the sirens and took my mind off what was going on around me at the time.. that night you were my “keeper”!

    I know how much you want to get back to what you love.. but if doesn’t work out just know that what you do here truly means so much to all of us. The most important part about this blog is you, so thank you for sharing your words with us even when at times you didn’t feel so good but yet here you were doing what you do best writing.. You really should be working on the next great American novel!

    Life is built on hope, strengthened by faith and made richer by friendship and love!

    I love you so much my sweet friend!

    August 16, 2011 at 3:22 am

  2. Carol

    All I am posting today is that I do love you and am so very glad that you and your blog have come into my life. I pray that you will get better and that little girl of yours is just as brilliant as her mother.

    August 16, 2011 at 7:20 am

  3. Trini

    Bless you Angelique. You have been named appropriately :). My prayers are with you. Whatever the report believe the God that holds up the world and makes the sun shine every morning.

    August 16, 2011 at 7:25 am

  4. Connie Hernandez

    Hi Angelique, just wanted to say that I wish you the very best of wishes in whatever comes your way . A new WORK or NOT, know that I support you at least in my thoughts and spirit. Take care and again I love the WORK you do
    God Bless! Connie H.

    August 16, 2011 at 8:32 am

  5. barbara edge

    Loved your blog today….ITA the writing was fabulous yesterday…best of luck today….sending prayers and good thoughts….

    August 16, 2011 at 8:49 am

  6. Jessica

    Hi Angelique!

    You are definitely in my thoughts today!! Hoping everything goes smoothly. I love your blog, and look forward to it everyday.

    Thanks for everything you do.
    🙂

    Tanti Baci,
    Jessica

    August 16, 2011 at 8:50 am

  7. Awww, now I started crying. What your youngest said to you is so true. This blog is important. To you and to us. Your words always makes me happy, even if it´s in a teary way. 🙂 When I feel down about JaSam and GH it brings my spirits back up and when I´m happy about the same things the blog give me even more happiness. Thank you so much for dedicating so much time to make yourself and us happy. *big hugs*

    I hope everything goes well at your appointment and that your gourgeous Dr can give you the answers that your seeking. 🙂

    August 16, 2011 at 9:26 am

  8. samjase

    Tears! You brought tears to my eyes in more ways than I can express. When a child is that compassionate and loving for their mother, there’s no greater gift! You are blessed, and so are we who have gotten to know you through this blog. It’s your gift to us, and we hope you know our prayers are with you for a good report from the doctor. We love you!

    August 16, 2011 at 11:11 am

  9. Deborah

    I hope everything goes well today. We’ll all be sending wonderful, warm, loving JaSam thoughts your way. And as you’re looking at and listening to your (gorgeous) Doctor, picture a certain gorgeous-er blue-eyed well-built Dr. Q, with really nice legs, who is probably hiding a black t-shirt under his blue shirt and stethoscope.

    August 16, 2011 at 11:58 am

  10. Fylicia'Marie

    Oh Darling, trust….this blog means soooo much to so many! I would have NEVER made even one call to the GH comment line or become totally reinvested had it not been for you and your contagious optimism and wondrous writing that draws us in even more each time you post. Thanks for sharing your new love with all of us.

    Prayers with you today.

    August 16, 2011 at 4:23 pm

  11. Traveler

    Okay, I am litterally wiping the tears from my face… Your daughter was so right!!
    Reading your Blog is something I look forward to everyday. No matter what is happening on GH, and we have gone thru some ups and downs… Its been a such a great joy to read your Blog, and KNOW someone else feels the same way I do. Whatever your future “work” holds for you, I hope it continues to be spreading your “Positive Messages” to others!! **Big Hug**

    Bravo… Bravo… Once again on today’s Blog!! I loved every single word.
    I have to say, Carly needing a Zoo keeper, made me really LOL .. And oh so true..
    My favorite line of the day…. “Not only is Sam great at being his keeper, Jason knows Sam’s a keeper!” .. How lucky is Jason to have Sam <3!!
    Im loving our GH and JaSam more and more everyday!!

    Hope your appointment went well for you today!! **Another Big Hug**

    August 16, 2011 at 7:04 pm

  12. Sonia

    Thanks for the great Blog Angelique, and hope everything goes well

    August 17, 2011 at 10:34 pm

  13. Fylicia'Marie

    Just checking in – hope everything went well and know you are being cared for by THE Carer (it’s a word, just sounds made up like mobical – smile) so all is well. Take care of you and God Bless!

    August 18, 2011 at 2:43 am

  14. Dearest Angelique,
    I am just now getting to read this blog, and the comments. I can add nothing to the sentiments of the other readers. They know you, and said everything there is to say about how much you mean to us all, and to your wonderful family. You are irreplaceable.
    Your journalism gift is one you have shared by your blog, and it is a rare gift indeed. So cherish it, and please continue to share it with us, the friends you have gathered with your writings. You are blessed, and so are we. We all love you, you have our prayers and loving wishes.

    August 19, 2011 at 1:27 pm

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