SHOWDOWN AT SUNDOWN
It must have been “Westerns Week” on Port Charles’ favorite TV station, as our fictional friends all seemed compelled to be part of a showdown. There was no messing around either…had Port Charles been a dusty, saloon-lined metropolis out west, noon would have been a busy time o’ day!
I’m trying to remember the last time I heard the word “pleather”, but can’t. However, no matter which millennium it was…I know whenever I heard it, it didn’t make me laugh as much as when I heard Johnny say, “This jacket ain’t pleather, man! You owe me 500 bucks!” Oh, I love Michele Val Jean days on GH! Johnny is as dense as he is cute! He reminds me of sooooo many of the hotties I knew back when I was a co-dependent! Hot-headed, reckless, completely unwilling to listen to anyone speaking the foreign language of commonsense, John is determined to self-destruct! And Jason…really, seeing Jason shoot a paintball gun at John made me realize that there are so many games I would be willing to play with Jason…but russian roulette isn’t one of them! Jason, in his surprisingly understanding allowance for John’s loss, keeps warning John to stop pushing, but to no avail. John continues to bait him. In case you haven’t figured it out, I really enjoy (fictional) mobsters. When I was a teen, I watched every Godfather movie, obsessed over Marlon Brando’s voice, and weird but true: I once agreed to go on a date with a guy because his name was Vito! (Please – I know) As an adult I watched The Sopranos as a proud Jersey Girl until Tony stuffed that last onion ring in his mouth. I think it’s because I’ve always hated bullies, and I like the fantasy of calling up some hitman to “whack” whoever’s bullying me. That being said, I know this next statement says that I must be suppressing some deep, dark, childhood issues, but I’m going to say it anyway: Jason making threats is HOT! (And Sweet Jesus, he is so much hotter than ANY of the Corleones or Sopranos ever were!) I really don’t want John to get whacked, but I don’t mind him pissing Jason off. Some showdowns are sexy!
Lucky and Ethan were in the middle of a showdown when Father Knows Anything But Best comes strolling in wanting to know what’s going on. Lucky explains he’s about to have his new bro deported for lack of a visa, and Ethan totally expects Luke to stop Lucky. Luke’s answer: “Take him in, I’ll bring him a toothbrush.” Luke thinks Ethan should go chill down under until John’s mob scrimmage has run its course. (I so agreed when he suggested Ethan get a tan!) Both Luke and Lucky try to convince Ethan this isn’t a bet he wants to place, they finally back off and let Ethan decide for himself, with a warning that Jason will only look the other way for so long. Some showdowns are really life-saving measures.
Nikolas and Liz are in the middle of a showdown over money, sex, and paternity tests. Am I the only one who sees a pattern here with Liz? Let me begin by telling you the points on which Liz and I agree, as it is such a rarity, that it deserves mentioning. 1) I agreed when Liz asked Nik, “Why are you bringing Jason into this?” Please, Nik, leave Jason as far away from this mess as possible. This relationship is already crowded. 2) Liz said she didn’t just break Lucky’s heart, she: took a blowtorch to his heart, compromised his sobriety, and AMEN: I can’t believe he can even stand to look at her either! Now, as for the rest that came out of her mouth…WTH? Liz to Nik: “This is the problem with you and me, I say something and you don’t hear it!” Um, No, Liz the problem is he clearly heard you say, “faster”, “harder”, “right there”, and even “I love you”. Now you want to treat him as though you tripped and fell on him and the whole thing was an accident. And really…can someone tell me how many fathers she is going to banish from her kids’ lives? STOP IT ALREADY! Oh man, and let this be a lesson to you, friends: Be careful what you wish for. How long was I asking about Lainey, begging for someone to call her, wishing she’d show up for some much-needed therapy for Liz? Today, I realized what a mistake that was! Really? Sit both lovers/brothers down with the woman they shared like a sweatshirt and ask Liz what she got from Nik that she didn’t get from Lucky? Is she trying to get Lucky a VIP room at Shady Brook? Fortunately, Lucky is so completely and cluelessly a co-dependent, that he steps in and gives Liz an out by blaming himself for loving her and believing the best of her before she can answer Lainey’s question! Oh, Lucky. Stop making excuses for her! PLEASE! Some showdowns are just tragic!
Spinelli has been living in the shadows of the dark and dangerous hotties in Port Charles for quite some time, but his insecurities can dwarf even those shadows. Spinelli had concocted some hair-brained scheme to make Maxie believe he is on the trail of a serial killer in order to proves to his Maximista that he can be just as brave and daring as the next guy. Spinelli’s surveillance is lacking, however and Maxie finds herself confronting the Culinary Criminal herself…with a butter knife. Oh…some showdowns are just comical.
Luke and Tracy’s showdowns are an integral part of their marriage, and as a bonus…typically laugh out loud funny! Monday’s showdown was no exception! Tracy’s solution to Ethan’s visa dilemma was to divorce Luke and marry Ethan…STAT! The exchanges between those three was priceless! Luke saying, “You will marry Ethan over my cold, dead body!” and having both Tracy and Ethan say “Okay” in unison..oh how I laughed! By the time Ethan called Tracy “Spanky” I had tears in my eyes! Luke tried every angle to keep it from happening…calling it incest, threatening to “entertain” in his bachelor pad, demanding a hefty allowance, he pulled out the big guns. But in the end, what worked was telling Tracy how in love he is with her, and how their relationship works for him better han anything he’s ever had. Some showdowns are just exceptionally well-written!
The showdown between Sonny and his two sons was heated! Sonny walks in just as Michael is prepared to confess his role in Claudia’s death. In comes Sonny and tells Dante to come at him from any angle, but not to use Michael. Dante tells Michael he knows where to find him if he ever needs to talk to him, and Sonny nearly blows a blood vessel ordering Michael out of the room. Dante knows Michael is hiding something and assumes he saw the murder. Sonny shares his version of the truth. Sonny knows that it’s only a mater of time before Michael spills his guts, so he goes to Jason and tells hm that he and Sam have to take Michael out of the country to keep him quiet. Jason has a showdown with Michael and tries to convince him, while Sonny has a nice dinner with Carly in order to do the same…however even that quickly becomes a showdown! Some showdowns are only the beginning.
Well peeps, I am packed (with high hopes, big expectations and tons of excitement) and so ready for our trip to “Fantasy Island” with Jason and Sam! Finally, we may get some much needed romance! I am thrilled! What about you?